Darkness is the new light
by TheRockerOfTheOutlaws
Summary: Charlie Jacobs is the drunk of the town. History played a big part of her life, making more enemies than friends. No one to turn to, she has turned to rum for help; to hide away from the world. Old faces turn up, along with burdens she doesn't want to face, however that isn't the only problem she has; an old enemy shows up and puts her friendships on the line. What will she do?
1. Chapter 1

"What can I say, life is worth living when you have friends, and the world is your stage. You only live once, so why question it?" Charlie Jacobs asked. "People either choose to live a short amount of time or people choose it for them. But those who choose it for the ones, I say they are bunch of twats!"

Looks of readable of awkwardness and shame were swapped with the listeners. Charlie noticed but didn't act upon it. She shifted on her crate and lifted her bottle of rum to her lips. She stared at it, thinking how before she craved the warm, sweet liquid but now drinking too much of it, all the textures mixed in together giving her no satisfaction. _Funny that_, she thought _we crave so much, but when enough is enough we don't know about it until it's too late. The human race huh? _

Shrugging her shoulders she drank from the bottle and stared back at the fire which was alight before her and her fellow 'friends'. The fire gave her warmth and a feel of hope, yet deeper inside a tale was told; one she would never tell. Well hoped not to. Only four people knew of her, those she considered friends, the unlikely of people but that was why she liked them, they all had different personalities, all brought something different to the table. There was Theodore Groves, a Lieutenant now if she recalled probably, he was the kind one of the group. He was always there for her whenever she was in trouble, he always found a way to make her laugh, he was cute too but she was never drunk enough to tell him. Next there was Gibbs, the oldest one in the group, he knew how to drink but he was a very good friend of Charlie's, he knew how to tell a story too. Also there was Ian Mercer, the scary one of the group, but Charlie like him, well he was her God father after all but she hadn't seen him for years. Then there was Lupin Smith, ah Charlie's partner in crime. They did everything together, they went to school, played together, broke the law many times but all that was history; all the group did was history, she thought they were going to be living legends, she now knew that was not the case.

A heavy sigh escaped from her mouth. She took the last sip of her rum before smashing it upon the ground making her listeners look up to her. Ignoring them, she stormed off, her drink quickly effecting her as she walked down the road of the small town.

Quickly sick she felt coming up. She leaned against the wall and let it all out, the bitter taste of rum left her mouth to be replaced by something much worse. As her food left her she raised her head, staring into the darkness. Tears stung her eyes, she felt weak. It was a long time since she felt this way, though people of the town would say different. Thinking of people's thoughts, she slid to the ground and leaned against the wall, tears she showed as they escaped from their cages. How did she ever become like this? She could remember what people said about her, what she used to be, what she looked like; now was a different story, now was a beginning of old faces, standing out of the shadows, to fight old enemies and to show the real Charlie Jacobs. This is her story.


	2. Chapter 2

**I better explain myself, I got this idea based of The Worlds End because its such an amazing film and if you haven't seen it shame on you. So I'm sorry if nothing makes sense or see grammar mistakes, but I've apologised before hand. I don't own pirates of the Caribbean or its characters, I only own Charlie Jacobs, Lupin Smith and other additional characters I may add (unsure at the moment). **

**The scarlet-Mockingjay is co-writing her chapters as her character is Lupin Smith so she owns her too. **

**All that out the way, please enjoy. **

* * *

Darkness surrounded Port Royal. The night ruler hid behind the great masses of clouds, making a wall before it; making sure it couldn't escape like a guard on patrol down in the jails. Everything was still, it had gone past three in the morning, everywhere was shut and all was quiet except the ocean which rode upon the sandy shores smoothly.

Charlie was asleep on the ground, her arms where folded around her chest. All seemed normal for the woman until that was she fluttered her eyes open; her sharp ears picking up a noise. For a few minutes she just stared into the darkness before her, trying to work out where the noise was coming from. It seemed the noise was coming from the alley way beside her. Slowly she sat up, carefully she stood up; drawing her sword, making sure she weren't making any noise. Licking her dry lips carefully she pressed her back upon the building and took a few steps towards the alleyway. She heard nothing but her heart beating, she felt sweat forming upon her face and she wouldn't be surprised if the person couldn't hear her heart or smell her.

At the edge of the wall she drew her sword up, counting to ten in her head, she heard nothing of the person, but she sensed the person there standing in the darkness. 3. She felt adrenaline rush around her body. 2. She felt like the old Charlie Jacobs, the one she missed, the one who caused too much suffering, the one who left the world. 1. Now was the time to act. She jumped into view and swung her sword, surprised she became into contact with another waited sword. Quickly the quietness of the alley way broke with the clash of the black smith's pride of work, swings of perfection, taught by swordsman, and the grunts of determination of not wanting to be at the end of the sword; to lose.

However before Charlie knew was happening she felt a foot contact with her back, making her let out a groan of pain as she landed on the floor and a gasp as her trusted sword left her hand. She got to her hands and knees, determined to gain access of her sword once more but the person who she was fighting was much stronger and much faster, and pressed its foot upon her back; squashing her like a harmless bug. She felt the person's hand grabbed the collar of her shirt and turned her over to face it. There she squirmed; thinking of the worst. However she felt herself free from the person.

"Charlie?" She heard a man ask. "Charlie Jacobs is that truly you?"

Few a minutes she stared up confused but as her eyes adjusted to the dim light which was produced by a lantern which the man brought with him. Her eyes grew big with surprise, joy and relief as she weren't going to be hurt or die that night; well she hoped not.

"Nice greeting you give your God daughter isn't it, Ian?" She asked, while taking his hand. As she stood up, she accepted his embrace. "I see you are doing well. Nice clothes to, a good job then?"

"You can say that." He replied, while letting her go. "What the hell you doing here Charlie? Last time I heard you were in London."

She simply shrugged. "Long story Ian." She picked up her sword and put it back on her belt. "I thought of a change will do me some good. You know what it is like, the world is changing and they say here is the future."

"Did I hear probably? Charlie Jacobs change?" Ian asked. A second passed before he gave out a soft chuckle. "That is a good one."

"What? I'm not joking."

"Sure, whatever you say kiddo. But you didn't have the reputation of giving up so easily, to give change a chance. As I recall you fought many of Beckett's men one time to make your statement…"

"Well times have changed." She said angrily cutting him off.

She stared at him angrily before walking past him. She heard him following her, she was happy to see him again but it weren't the best time to see her. She felt shameful, she weren't nothing like how he remembered her, or how anyone remembered her. She felt his eyes upon her.

"Along with time, I've changed as you can tell. I'm not like I how I was Ian. I'm a runt in the family. Everything I done back in England that is my past that is why I came here; to escape it all, to escape all my burdens and fates." She stopped as she felt his hand wrap around her upper arm. She felt like she couldn't look into his eyes, to see the disappointment, to see what she looked like; to see what he won't say.

"If your father heard you say that, he would kill you himself." He stated. "You think we don't runway from things we are scared of? But Charlie the past…the past is like the truth. You cannot change the fact what happened back in London or wherever you ended up afterwards. We all wish we could adjust a part of things or change it entirely but we cannot. Maybe if we lived many times, we could learn from our mistakes, to learn how to live, how to treat others and ourselves but we cannot." He stood next to her and wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders.

"Do you have anywhere to stay tonight?" Charlie asked, changing the subject.

"I do, but I see you don't." Ian replied, but before Charlie could say anything else, he led her away, making her feel in some way full once more. He weren't really family but she considered him as an uncle, it was the only thing she had. Too many secrets she held deep inside, ones she wanted to escape but she was too scared, scared to hurt those she loved; scared to hurt herself.


	3. Chapter 3

_Italic= _dream and Charlie's thoughts. **Enjoy!**

* * *

_The young Charlie awoken from her deep sleep as she heard knocking at the front door. Full of confusion and curiosity she sat up in the bed. A few seconds nothing stirred in the Jacobs manor, nothing Charlie could hear except the ticking from the grandfather clock. Being young and foolish she slowly got out of bed, and made it to her bedroom door without bumping into anything, she guessed she was used to walk in the dark as she sneaked out to see the sea at night, to see its beauty shining in the moons beam of light, but also to see if she could see her father sailing back to her and her mother. _

_Pressing her ear to the door, she heard movement in the hall, someone walking down the stairs. She jumped as the person at the door knocked again; louder. She heard her mother curse before opening the door. There Charlie couldn't remember much in detail, she remembered opening the door little bit to hear what was going on, she remembered hearing Ian's voice filled with worry; something she never heard before. Then she remembered her mother running to the stairs before the door was knocked down, she heard her mother scream and fight of the introducers, but none was any good for both of the Jacobs, as Charlie heard many footsteps running up the stairs, checking each room and heard her mother swear at them. _

_Charlie backed up into her room, staring all around her. Scared she felt. Fear showed in her eyes. She was confused what was going on. Confused who and why these people were in the house and hurting her mother. Quickly Charlie ran to her wardrobe, her mind to get her sword but men in red uniform burst in and grabbed her before she could do anything. _

_One man carried her over his shoulder, stopping her from fighting, but that didn't stop her from kicking her legs. She might been eight years old but she was stronger than she looked. _

_"Like I told you, I don't know where he is." She heard her mother say to someone._

_As she was put down on the ground, she felt the two pairs of hands on her, holding her still. She struggled against them but it made it worse for her. She looked up at her mother, her looks haunted her all her life, never she saw her mother's feelings, she was a strong woman, independent- bottled everything up, though that didn't stop Charlie hear her mother cry most nights. No seeing her filled with dread and angry was something she never saw her, but her feelings changed as the man in charge took Charlie off the men, and held her by the back of her collar._

_"I'm sure you wouldn't let your precious daughter get hurt, Mrs Jacobs." The man said, his cold voice sent a chill down her spine. "Or are my mistaken?"_

_"How dare you come here pushing your weight, excepting me to tell you something I don't know and threaten my daughter." Charlie heard her mother state angrily. "As I keep telling you, I don't know where my husband is. So just leave us be."_

_A second passed before any movement was made. One which stayed with Charlie forever. One that haunted her dreams. One which followed her like her shadow. One unmistakable move. One which changed her life forever._

Charlie's eyes sprang open, her chest heavily fell and rose. She stared at the ceiling, her mind on her nightmare. Her eyes telling the four walls that surrounded her what she hid away, she showed her feelings. Scared. Angry. Confused. Those three feelings were all linked- a chain in her life. One man had changed her life, one she planned to revenge for her mother, as he took her life away, away from the world and her; her daughter.

Turning she clung tightly to the blanket which Ian gave her, it gave her warmth, though didn't match the warmth from her mother when she hugged her when sad making all the troubles go away, or when she cradled her to sleep. It gave her comfort, though it didn't match comfort of those she cared for and missed, both friends and family.

_Ian was right, the history was like the truth. I can't escape from it. _Charlie thought.

She forced herself to sit up. Letting out a groan her head fell into her hands. She forgot how much she drunk last night and the fight with Ian; all having its toll on her. She mumbled a curse and stood up to walk to the kitchen. She picked up an apple which stood in the fruit bowl along with the other fruit. She couldn't ask for any more of Ian, he gave her somewhere to sleep for a night, she had to owe it back to him, somehow but how?

Thinking of how to repay the nice gesture to Ian, she grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill which stood on a table. She wrote:

_Thank you for everything Ian, I repay you somehow, I promise._

_From Charlie_

* * *

Charlie raised her bow and arrow strong. The string pulled to her cheek, the arrow trained on the signing above the little group of boys who were hunched over, telling her something was wrong, along with the harsh words they directed to someone in the middle, and cheers when someone she guessed threw a punch as she heard someone cry out in pain.

She knew she couldn't kill any of them that would make her worse than the man who changed her life, she weren't nothing like him nor the men who were under his control. Pushing the thought out of her mind she narrowed her eyes and released the arrow, making it embedded into the wood. She watched with irritation as none looked up nor heard her threat. She threw her weapon onto the floor and drew out her pistol. She quickly trained it on the group, she cocked it, her finger on the trigger, and next she pointed it towards the sky.

**BANG!**

Many young eyes landed on her making her feel in power. She lowered it as the boys dissembled and stared at her with worry. She blew the smoke away from her pistol before staring back at them. Slowly she stepped over her bow and arrow and towards the group.

"Now, what is going on here then?" She asked.

Without answering they stared at each other before running away. She watched as they all disappeared into the shadows of the buildings, running away from trouble. She noticed they all wore lose cloths of clothes, dirt upon their faces; orphans. Lowering her eyes she saw a young boy of ten lying on the floor, hugging his legs tightly, his eyes closed. _Poor lad_.

She crouched down beside him and gently said: "Hey kid, its ok they gone now." She watched as he opened his eyes to see if she was telling the truth, hurt and sorrow she saw in his brown eyes. She couldn't help but feel sympathy towards him. "You ok kid?"

"Get away from me!" The little boy exclaimed, using his hands to push her away- pushing her onto the floor. He stood up weakly but tried to hide it, all reminding her of how she was and still was.

"Is that the thanks I get?"

"You made it worse." He replied angrily. "I don't need your help nor anyone's."

Charlie pushed herself up before saying. "You're being bullied. They are hurting you physically…have you told your parents?"

"Why do you care? You're only the drunk of the town no one special." He restored, making Charlie stand still, his words felt like a bullet to the heart, making no hesitation to stop.

Those words she heard many times in her life. No one special. She swore she used to be, she swore she used to be someone people looked up too, people who came to her if they needed help, to talk, to seek refuge, but now all of it was gone. That Charlie Jacobs was no more, she died when she left London to seek freedom herself. But the longing question she wanted to ask had still be unanswered: "What is freedom?" She thought she knew, she read the books, saw the brave people take charge in their lives but to her it seemed impossible to think of it as freedom. She thought not knowing people was freedom, a new place, a change but years she worked it out as not. Not for her. Her freedom was being with people she loved and considered family but where were they now? She didn't know of that question. She had many questions to answer but she could not as she didn't know the answer herself or scared to hear the truth. Doubt lived inside her ever since she left her home and people she cared for. She thought running away was a good idea but look where it had got her. Society looked down at her, a curse of the world, rum had become her friend, it helped her drown her feelings, thoughts and past deep down, to never be surfaced…_What I have done?_

"I know what it is like to be alone." She finally replied to the boy, who stopped limping away. "You're right. I'm nothing special, not to society, not to ghosts of my past and the world. Yes I turned to drink to give me a fake belief, to see the world in a different light. But I know what is right and what is not. I know what it is like to be left in the dark by the people who you think that love you, I know the past plays a big part in life; defiantly someone so young."

Charlie placed her pistol back onto her belt. Her own words echoing in her mind. "People judge too easily kid. We're like animals ourselves- the human race. We live in packs which we call family, who we love so dearly, who we miss so much when they gone. We look down on those who are weak, useless and sick, the strong go on top. But is anything fair? One strong person can't talk for the man next to him or many people, a weak person could be the smartest person you'll ever meet but society don't give us a chance to show our skills. Why you being bullied?"

Silence broke out, Charlie's flow of words travelled down the alleyway towards the boy. He stood there, making no movement but leaned on the wall. Pain she felt, anger he held, a hidden past he wished he could change and hide all his weaknesses all together. She knew what he was feeling, being an orphan herself, she didn't go to an orphanage, she lived with Ian, but she was bullied at school. She was different, she'd never belonged, she acted like she didn't care but deep down inside she did, she let her anger be the answer.

"I'm not…they just like hurting me." The boy replied.

"Funny I used to say that myself." She stated. "I used to be bullied myself. I did nothing to the kids but I was just different compared to them. I didn't have the manners, the looks, the friends…the parents." She quickly fell silent as words of hate echoed inside her mind, the taunts, the punches, the kicks and scratches she remembered. They all left her scared. "Bottling it up isn't good kid, trust me, I've been there. Talking is the best. I understand you don't want to as no one else does or that you cry but crying isn't weak neither doing something different nor being different. How do you think people explore the world? I bet you many people told them they were stupid…insane but look where we are. What about scientist, they look at things in much detail, exploring and finding things every day, but without them we'd be lost as there be no cures, nor help of recovery." She picked up her bow and arrow before staring at the young boy. She let out a sigh, hearing nothing from him. "I just hope you know that you're not alone kid, we all have to stick together in this world."

She turned around, her mind on the young boy. She wish she could do something to help but what could she do? She was a no one now. Like the town said she was just a drunk. Nothing special. So why did she care so much over a little boy?

"Can you show me how to shoot?" She heard him say, making her stop walking.

"I will but you have to tell me why you are being bullied, deal?"

The boy turned around and stared at her with doubt. She knew it was a long shot but if it was the only way to help then so be it. She had been in his shoes all those years ago, but she didn't want him to turn into her. To bottle up the feelings he held, to try to change the impossible, to forget what all happened- to find nothing but negatives, to then destroy everything he eventually build into rumble and run away. None of those she didn't want. She been there and needed to escape from her hell but every time she thought of wining her battle, the rum called her name; bringing her back to black hole that surrounded her.

"Deal." He said.


	4. Chapter 4

Charlie knelt beside the boy who was called Max, her arm held the bow steady before him, his hands on her bow the way she taught him. The string was pulled back to his bruised cheeks, she let go of the bow but stayed close to him. She ordered him to release the arrow and he did but not to hit the target up bounce off the building next to it.

"I can't do this." Max stated broken hearted.

"Don't give up yet kid, we all have to practise or else how do you think we get better at things?" She asked, while picking up another arrow. "It just takes time."

Max stared at her and nodded. He took the arrow and placed it on the bow. He raised it and slowly pulled the string back while holding his breath in. A few seconds passed before he released it to his disappointment the arrow landed on the next crate not the target. Charlie picked up another arrow, Max's seventh. She knew he was quickly giving up but she also knew he had it in him.

"Why don't you lower the bow a tiny bit? Train it straight on the target." Charlie gestured.

She remembered her first time holding such weapon, she thought it was easy to handle and use- useless nothing threatening about it except it embedded the person, nothing compared to a sword and a gun now. However Lupin taught her the ways of a bow and arrows, how powerfully it could be, how useful and quick you can be. It also helped when they stole things gaining something light or escaping somewhere. Yet she still preferred to use her sword and pistol, she felt safer.

Shaking the memory away she watched as Max released the arrow and saw it embed his target. She felt proud, something she hadn't felt for so long. Looking at the boy she saw him smile, a great one too, she smiled seeing his eyes light up, he finally could do something.

"There you go kiddo. I told you with patience and practice you can do it." She said gently.

Quickly she felt warmth and surprise knock her back as Max wrapped his arms around her neck. She was unsure what to do but her heart told her to wrap her arms around him and so she did.

"Thank you Charlie." He said.

Breaking the hug, Charlie smiled and picked up the rest of the arrows. "Here kid, you can have them. You have more use of them then me."

She watched as Max stared at the arrows and the bow in his hands, surprise and joy was seen upon his face. It seemed Christmas and his birthday had come all at once. He looked back up at her and replied his thanks.

Walking up the streets, Max held Charlie's hand, something she was struck with surprise again but she didn't mind. In a few minutes she was just this drunk of a person now she gained a friend, someone who she felt protective over…

Charlie stopped seeing the great building where Max called his home. Orphanage it was called but to her it looked quite daughting, no place for a child to live nor be until a certain age. It stood alone from all the other buildings that surrounded it, no colours picked up her attention except for brown and black. Many levels she guessed held inside and many stories, those which are held deep inside each child that live there; their past.

Kneeling down, she let go of Max's hand and stare at him in his eyes. "If anyone troubles you, just be yourself ok? As someone once told me, many things go unnoticed for a certain amount of time but when the right time is right that unnoticed thing comes into light. Also the knowledge of weaponry is good kid, a great man knows his weakness but he knows he either has to face it to get better or run away from it to gain nothing."

He nodded before thanking her again and left her standing alone. There she thought over what he told her the reason why the boys were bulling him. Reasons she could relate to, not being like the others, being an outsider, he was new meaning whatever happened to his parents was recent or he had been moved, both big things in a child eyes.

"Maybe the old Charlie Jacobs is coming back after all."

She heard someone state. She slowly stood up and turned around, the voice sounding familiar. Standing very still her eyes grew big with shock.

"Theo? W-what in the god's name you doing here?" She asked the young Lieutenant.

"I thought…" He was cut off as he felt a strong force hit him, gaining his breath back he looked down and smiled as Charlie wrapped her arms around him, letting him give the gesture back. "I thought you knew I was here."

"I didn't." She said looking up. "As you can probably tell I've turned to the worse, I haven't heard any news of London since I left. If I knew I would have meet you."

She let go and looked at her friend. A smile appeared on her face, she felt happiness, seeing her friend. It truly had been too long since they saw each other, she felt a small amount of peace flutter back to her heart seeing Theo standing before her.

"It is good to see you Theo." She said.

* * *

Charlie sat at the bar in the local tavern, she just stared at the rum bottle in her hand nothing more. Before that day she would have drunk it without thinking but why the change? She guessed meeting old faces had made her think what she was doing, what she had done and what their view was on her. She wouldn't have cared if Ian, Theo and Mr Gibbs were another person in the town but to her they were someone who she cared about.

Thinking of her friends, she recently saw her old drinking buddy Mr Gibbs, she walked into him after walking with Theodore back to the fort, she was surprised to see the old man, well she was surprised to see all three of them- it was unexpected to see one but all three was even more of a shock to Charlie. Three out of four, she noted. Three friends. Three close friends. Only three people she could count on for help and talk to, though when she left London she brought shame upon them, left them all alone, with no idea where she was- if she was even alive or dead. She was scared to inform them about her whereabouts or even look for them, as she broke their trust and friendship. Well that was what she thought.

She picked up the rum bottle and studied it. As her eyes were on the murky looking glass her mind was on one particular person; Lupin Smith. Questions of where, who, what, why filled her and left her with anger and doubt. They were once best friends, inseparable, they thought…she thought they were destined to meet each other, help and work things out together but one day she dreaded came real. That day left her weak, unable to trust people and angry, all what she thought became quickly nothing. All what she had done for that girl she thought it had been worth something but not to Lupin….

Charlie quickly let out a heavy sigh before she could let her anger show. This was what certain life events had left her in, to bottle up her feelings up for the world not to see or use against her. She learnt it didn't get her many friends but what choice did she have, if they left her?

Lifting the bottle to her lips, she felt the shame her friends hid within their words and looks they gave her but she knew they looked down at her, think different about her, she didn't even blame them because who would ever look twice at her, who would even stop and give their time to speak to her? Doubt filled her, making her lower her bottle and stare at the rum inside. Ian gave up his time, he gave her somewhere to sleep for a night and cared for her since she was eight years old. Theodore did, he always backed her in an argument- stood up for her and gave his time to ask people of the town about her as he heard she was in Port Royal; her reputation known around those parts of the island. Finally Mr Gibbs, he was like another uncle to her, he had always the best tales to tell her about the sea, monsters and his fellow captain Jack Sparrow (though most of the time he was drunk when he told them but she didn't care Gibbs was Gibbs), he was kind and gently always did asked after her and knew when she was upset. Seeing them all again made her realise how much she missed them, how much they all had an impact on her and her life but one she couldn't drown out nor ignore; Lupin.

Thinking of her, Charlie raised her bottle to her lips, anger building inside her body. Thing what she was trying to push way, she drowned in a few seconds and ordered another. She tried to be strong but one person could push her so low. One thing that left her scared; betrayal.

Hours later Charlie was on her fifth bottle, her body drowning in the warm liquid that was rum. She thought she wouldn't be like the other drunks, she thought she was different, she once thought she could change the world but she felt like a failure, waste of space, maybe without rum she would have ended her life years ago…

"Charlie, is everything ok?" She heard Gibbs asked.

She looked up and forced a smile and replied: "Yes, it is good to see you Gibbs."

"As it is to see you Charlie." Gibbs stated. "I'm going to go now, shall I walk you home or…"

"No, no, no I'm fine here but thank you." Charlie said cutting Gibbs off. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"I see you tomorrow then."

Charlie watched the old man leave the tavern. She knew he was doubting to leave her but what could he do? Seeing the door close behind him, Charlie settled her gaze back on her bottle, her mind on her past.

_I ruled the world.  
With these hands I shook the heavens to the ground.  
I laid the gods to rest.  
I held the key to the kingdom.  
Lions guarding castle walls.  
Hail the king of death._

Feelings of anger, heartbroken and betrayal that she remembered she was sure she had happy times but she guessed she had drunk so much that it wiped all good memories away, leaving her with the ones she wanted to forget.

_Then I lost it all  
Dead and broken.  
My back's against the wall.  
Cut me open.  
I'm just trying to breathe,  
Just trying to figure it out  
Because I built these walls to watch them crumbling down.  
I said, "Then I lost it all."  
And who can save me now?_

Fighting was what she had. Fighting herself. Fighting other people. Fighting the rum. The cycle went on, she could blame others but mostly she blamed herself. She hadn't looked in a mirror for a very long time, she was scared to. She knew she looked like a mess: dirt upon her face, unkept hair and tatty uniform, uniform which gave her hope, a sense of a better future, her only thing from the past along with burdens.

_I stood above  
Another war,  
Another jewel upon the crown.  
I was the fear of man.  
But I was blind.  
I couldn't see the world there right in front of me.  
But now...I can... (Yeah)_

Charlie forced herself up and put her hat on, hiding her hair. It was a dangerous place for a women but no one bothered her that night. She drank the remains of the rum and brushed her coat.

"You still haven't paid for your drinks." She heard the bar lady say.

"Put it on my tab."

"You don't have one…"

"Well make it up then." She said before turning around to be stopped again as a young looking woman dressed in a revealing dress stood in front of her. Her lips painted red, her eyes painted by thick eye makeup, her hair up a few strands shaped her face. "Move out the way please."

"What's wrong, don't like what you're seeing, sir?" The whore asked.

Charlie frowned dumbfounded on the young woman's words, but she guessed how she dressed, smelt and acted gave her an assumption she was a male not female.

"Its ok sweetheart, most people are scared their first time." She added seeing Charlie's face.

Before Charlie could say anything more she felt the young woman's tight grip on her wrist and forcefully pulled her towards the stairs. Fear filled her along with anger, she tried to dig her heels in but it seemed the young woman was much stronger than her, which shamed her.

"Please I…" Charlie began but was cut off as she was held against a door leading to a bedroom. She tried pushing the whore off her but she just held her wrists tighter, making her whimper in pain. As the whore let go one of her wrists, she heard her breathing becoming short. She stared at the woman who stood in front of her. She felt her fingers lightly undo her tie and travel down to undo her button on her jacket. She slowly made them travel back up to her broad shoulders and push her jacket off them, while her eyes always stayed on Charlie; staring deeply into her eyes. The next few seconds made Charlie confused as she felt the whore's lips touch hers, a warm feeling rushed through her, making her return her gesture back, causing her heart to pound against its cage. Quickly she felt the woman's tongue push through Charlie's barrier, making a moan escape from within.

Fight that was what she thought she was good at, so why can't she push the woman away? Thinking of it she tried again and caught her off guard as the whore stumbled backwards. Charlie made her time to run away. She got to the ground floor but before she could get to the front door the bar lady stood in her way with her arms folded,  
turning her head she saw the whore was behind her; looking angry.

"You still haven't paid." The bar lady stated.

"I haven't got any money on me." Charlie stated truthfully. "I owe it back to you."

"You either pay now or you'll get thrown out to never set foot in here again."

Charlie gulped but nodded slowly. She walked past the bar lady and slowly walked out. That was it. Her supply of rum was gone what was life without it? She couldn't remember. Shame filled her and anger as she replayed the scene of what just happened. Why did she let herself get weak?

"Charlie?" She heard someone call out, making her look up, she saw it was Ian with a concern look upon his face. She watched him run towards her, and quickly felt his hands around her waist; giving her support. She didn't know that she was falling, everything felt the same. "Let's get you home."

* * *

**The song is called 'Lost it all' by Black Veil Brides, all credits go to them. I hope you enjoyed. This chapter I wanted to show another side to Charlie, her history and the reason why she became an alcoholic and her history with he friends. **


	5. Chapter 5

Charlie sat on the settee in Ian's house, her eyes trained on the space before her, her ears blocked out the world, her lungs drowned in rum and her mind on the event that happened in the tavern. She replayed the same scene every time, remembering every detail she felt and thought. She remembered the feeling of being scared, weak and shamed but it sounded like she enjoyed being kissed by the whore. Did she have feelings for someone else or was it she was caught off guard, to let her feelings over power her?

"Charlie did you hear what I just said?" Ian asked now standing in front of her, making Charlie look at him. "I know it's hard to stop on what you enjoy but you're better than this. Drink is never the answer. You drink believing it will drown the past and your feelings but I bet they come back in the morning along with a torment of a hangover?"

Charlie lowered her eyes shamed, hearing the truth hit her in the heart but she tried to get out of this black hole she lived in, to change but she remembered why she was there, what made her drink, to make her believe drink was the answer- to try and erase all what happened.

"I'll wash your clothes…"Ian stated after letting out a sigh, but he was cut off as he watched Charlie clung to her clothes tightly like a little child hugging its toy, not wanting anyone to play with it.

"These are the only things I have from the past." Charlie said looking at him.

"They smell and look tatty Charlie." Ian stated truthfully. Seeing she weren't going to give up he nodded. "Fine, would you give me them if I wash them and make them look more…acceptable?"

Charlie slowly nodded, giving in to what she held on for so long; part of her past. She loosened her arms and forced herself up. Slowly she followed Ian up stairs to the spare room which he kept a bath basin in and a mirror. She thanked him for the spare clothes and noticed he didn't give her a dress, which she was thankful for.

* * *

The moon shined brightly in the clear dark sky. Her light a barrier fighting any clouds that would dare to fight her power, stars like guards stayed by her shining weakly compared to the night ruler. They all reflected on the calm waters of the river in the woods, it did look beautiful, as nothing stirred as animals were either asleep or out hunting away from the river.

Charlie sat on a rock which was at the edge of the river. She just stared at the water seeing her reflection staring back at her, seeing it the first time for ages she wanted to run away but staring at herself she knew if she did run she couldn't run away from herself neither her past- the truth was one hard thing to face and she knew it. She took the coward way and tried to drown it all out by rum.

"What have I done?" She asked out loud to her reflection. She noticed she had asked that a lot to herself but she had many answers to one simple question. She could blame a lot of people but she knew deep down she brought it all upon herself.

_Beaten fallen angel but I've risen again  
And the power is inside me, I've decided to pray  
As I wait for Armageddon and it's coming my way  
It's an honour to be chosen and I wait for the day_

She kicked the water in anger, making her reflection fade for a few seconds. Letting out a heavy sigh she lowered her head and stared at her lap. A mess she turned into. Many times she thought what her mother would have thought of her if she was still alive, would she be angry, shamed or would she be like any mother and help? She wished she knew, the thoughts played in her mind many nights, she wanted to know if her mother was still alive, would everything be different or just the same?

"Mother…if you are looking over me please give a sign on what to do." Charlie heard herself say. "I've done too much bad. I don't know what to do no more. I thought I was stronger than this…I thought I was like you but it seems not. I'm sorry for letting you down…I…I've turned into something that I shouldn't. Please forgive me."

_Run, run 'til you drop  
Hide, everyone knows  
We all _

_trade in 'never-befores'  
Selling out for the score_

Charlie started to run away from the river tears stinging her eyes as she forced them back but she knew they would escape their cages. Would any of this stop? Would she ever be back on top of the game? She didn't know. She had been like that for years. No hope. No truth. No heart. Yet in a matter of two days she had seen three friends, which gave her peace in a way, it answered many questions which she feared. Also Max, she felt protective over the boy and would protect him again if he was ever in trouble.

She skidded to a stop. She was at the edge of the woods, facing the small town. She leaned on the tree next to her, letting herself get her breath back. She once promised someone that she would protect them, to be always there. Ever since she saved Lupin from her drunk father, she took care of her. They were a team. Lupin made Charlie want to live and look to the future. No one bothered her when Lupin and her was together.

Thinking of her old friend, Charlie lowered her gaze. "What is life, if something is missing?" Charlie muttered to herself before kicking a stone and watching it fall. Years she fought her way in life that was what she thought she was good at. Then how did she end but being like a freak? "By being blind." She answered out loud. She thought she was blind, she replayed the first time of Lupin and her meeting every day, making her crazy but she tried to see if she had missed something about her, it ended the same every time; made her feel empty inside.

_Charlie was walking through the dim streets, her heart lowering in its pool of guilt. She didn't mean it. She didn't mean to hurt people but they just didn't understand her. They all left their marks on her some not visible but Charlie could feel them. Names they called. Took the mickey. Their laughter, talking at her and taunting followed her everywhere like her shadow, making her look over her shoulder. How long could she take it? She didn't know. Doubt along with anger filled her. They're just don't understand, that is what she thought all that time but was it her who didn't understand?_

_Bruised and weak that was what Charlie felt. Sorry just seems like a simple word when you don't mean it. She didn't know where she was going, she was a few miles away from her home, her feet carried her away from the place where she thought she was safe but many people made that difficult. She didn't mean it. Many times she wished she died instead of her mother. She hated this feeling of feeling alone and being looked down at! When was it her time to shine? When was it her time when people noticed her for something good and not evil? _

_Charlie lifted her head up confusion shown through her eyes. She turned her head looking around her seeing if she did hear a scream or her mind playing tricks on her. Charlie quickly turned her head to the right as she heard a scream again and followed it. She quickened her pace and ended in a run. Entering an alleyway she skidded to stop seeing a figure on the floor. _

It weren't a good first of meetings but Charlie felt like she needed to do something, the drunk father of Lupin was what made her flee from her home and end his life by Charlie's sword. She saved one life by ending one, something she didn't do before but didn't let Lupin see. After Lupin quickly trusted her knowing she couldn't go home, knowing if anyone knew not just theirs but Lupin's family would be in danger. That day led the pair to grow close, to trust each other and cause mischief yet work with the law. How one thing could destroy something so strong, yet that one thing weren't anything small but betrayal.

Anger and tears aroused within making her flee the woods and into the town. No one was about which was appealing to Charlie as no one could stop her and ask her questions. She needed to run. She need to leave. She needed to do something. However she didn't know where. All of it reminded her when she was younger, that day of meeting Lupin. She was lost. She was full of questions, all unanswered as she had no one to ask. She was all alone. Darkness filled her, making her think, making her doubt.

Charlie fell upon the ground as she ran into someone. She let out a groan of pain as she landed but looking up she laid stiff, she turned white as a ghost as her eyes met Lupin's.

* * *

**The first lyrics are from a song called: "Fallen Angel" By Iron Maiden, the second one is called: "When the sun rose again" by Alice in chains so all credit goes to them. Thank you to The Scarlet-Mockingjay for helping me write this by sort of co- writing it and giving me ideas, so I hope you enjoyed it :) **


	6. Chapter 6

Charlie couldn't help but stay where she was, as if she was forced upon the ground by the gravity. Years she had been thinking of her friend but seeing her now…it was weird. She had truly changed, well she had grown into an adult, her hair had gone darker but more obvious, she was on the opposite line Charlie stood at. Ever since she left London, she had thought on what to say if she ever saw any of her friends but seeing them all, all her words disappeared- they piled at the back of her throat, making her choke like a tight noose.

Leaving them all behind, she thought they all would wanted her dead but seeing them now; seemed the opposite. They showed her love, concern and hope all things she hadn't felt for a very long time. So why did she hate herself so much? Why was she drowning in this pool of guilt? Light seemed to be like a distance dream to Charlie, she was lost in this dark world she let swallow her. Many times before she was at bay of the unknown world to most people- she used to fight…was she weak, had she told herself many lies to make her weak, was she her own bully?

"I'm so sorry sir…"Lupin said staring down but fell quiet. "Charlie. Charlie Jacobs is that you?"

Charlie found herself just staring at her old friend. Words lost. Fear filled her. It seemed she had done well for herself, Lupin worn the EITC uniform, everything all neat and tidy; nothing out of place. She had moved forward. Moved to the top. Unlike herself, she had fallen from the top, was drowning in the past, the saying: "Whatever goes up must come down" was true. She _was _someone. She _used_ to be someone. That someone was long gone.

Charlie saw her old friend eyes narrowed at her, she knew what she was thinking. She knew she weren't the person she knew back then. But she betrayed her…

"You have no right to look down at me you liar!" She stated angrily. "You're a liar for betraying me Lupin that uniform suits people like you! Liars like you!" Charlie forced herself up, showing she was stronger than she looked. Anger started to overpower her fear, her blood boiling, her fists clenched beside her. "You wear it with so much dignity. I guess Beckett has done well to train you, like a dog. I thought you were different…but I guess you can't trust anyone in this damn world! I counted on you. I saved you and lied for you, years of protection and this is my thanks; a friend I considered to have back stabbed me!"

"It weren't…."Lupin started but stopped. "You believe in what you want Charlie, I had no choice but to work for him."

"Isn't that what all betrayers say?" Charlie asked with disbelief. "Of course you had a bloody choice. We all have choices in this world, you just have to find them. You know what Beckett deserves you, you're both the same. I hope you enjoy your short life."

Charlie whirled around and started to storm off. Anger burning her in the inside. Years of hate had been released yet there was a lot left. Years was a very long time to swallow hate, people either went mad with it or showed to feel it still; all Charlie done.

She stopped hearing a pistol being chocked. She raised her gaze to show anger in her dark eyes. No fear visible. She slowly turned around, to face Lupin, to see what expression she shared when threatening to kill her friend. Her face was plain but Charlie knew her all too well and saw she was questioning herself.

"Going to shoot me Lupin? After all these years you have the courage to kill a person? Oh yes I nearly forgot you still work for a cruel man, did he teach you how to make a person feel so small?" Charlie asked while staring to walk towards her. "Did he teach you how to make an empty deal, to make people fear you, to end people's life and to kill an innocent person in front of their own family?" Charlie now stood in front of Lupin, the pistol pointing to her heart. She stared in Lupin's eyes, showing all her anger. A few dangerous seconds past before Charlie let out a dark laugh. "I thought so. You're so petty. You could never to do such thing Lupin, the uniform shows how stupid you've been but maybe the real you is inside, who would ever want to see a weak person? Not people you arrest. Not the men who take your orders. Not Lord Beckett. No one. Let me ask you this dear friend: Have you ever counted the days since you betrayed me, look at what you had and who you used to be? Do you remember what the uniform of the damned felt like, what it looked like or what it was to those who we used to help? Do you remember the look of hope on those we saved, have you forgotten how many people looked up to us, many people counted on us?"

Charlie continued to stare angrily at her friend, her words full of anger. She watched as Lupin slowly lowered her pistol and her eyes. She knew the answers to all her questions. She lied to everyone including herself. She guessed they were no different but Charlie would never betray those she cared for, she would rather die than work for Beckett. Finally Charlie turned around and walked only a few paces before Lupin spoke.

"I don't dwell on the past." She heard Lupin state. "Don't you ever just think of anyone but yourself Charlie? You're the one who left London without a word. I thought of you dead. Everyone did." Charlie stopped, letting Lupin stand in front of her. "I only worked for Beckett so I could see what was really happening… weeks you shut us all out, us meaning Gibbs, Theo, Ian and me. Those I thought you cared about. So don't call me petty. I've moved on with my life, it's time you do the same."

Charlie stared at her friend with confusion. Tears she felt being to rise. Her words felt like fire on skin. She always thought she could just move on, but she learnt it was much harder than people said. How could anyone just forget their past? It was the truth, it was like a boulder- hard to break but soon enough it crumbles; death claiming the body of it.

Charlie couldn't remember how she got on top of Lupin but as she looked down she saw her hand tight around her throat. Lupin tried her hardest to push her off but Charlie was much stronger.

"You don't know what I've been through!" She stated angrily. "You've had a family. You experienced what love and warmth is! You had a life. You had a father and a mother, they weren't taken away from you!"

Charlie quickly raised her fist, ready to drive it towards Lupin's face but seeing fear in her eyes, she lowered it and loosened her hold on her. She saw her reflection in them. She saw the monster she had become. She weren't like him. She didn't kill innocent people. She didn't bring hope to people and let them down. She wasn't like him was she?

She let out a groan of pain as Lupin pushed her off her and held her down on the ground. Tightly she held her wrists, making her stare up at her. "You're the one who took my father away from me. He hated me. You told me I couldn't ever go home but look where it got me. Fucking nowhere Charlie. I'm in this hell. My family is in prison, threaten to be hanged, that is another reason I had to work for him. Another fucking reason I'm here. I lost my friend and now I may lose her forever." Lupin lowered her eyes and noticed marks upon her friend's wrists. Worry filled her as she looked back at Charlie. "You need help."

"I don't need help." Charlie stated. "I need people to be there for me and to never let me down, but where can I find those? I need these voices in my head to stop speaking. Sometimes they grow loud that I can't hear myself. I need to find this light, to find hope but how can I when I'm weak? I can't stop but dwell on the past Lupin, it's the only thing I have." Charlie stopped hearing her words full of anger and sadness. "I've grown into this darkness…I've gone too far and there is no hope for me. This is what a man like Beckett does to you. All the words of hate from the bullies burnt into me. Their actions scarred upon my skin. There's no escape! I thought I was this fighter…I believed a lie I told myself but it hadn't got me anywhere. Those bullies were right. I am nothing. My family is gone and never coming back. I'm worthless. Just let me go. You move on, I don't want people to dwell on the past…it's never good. Do what's good for you and your family. I'll just bring you down as always."

Lupin slowly let Charlie go and stood up, she watched with a small understanding and concern. She saw the anger and tears she held on for so long. Yet she couldn't help but watch her old friend walk away, her heart deepening in its pool of guilt.

* * *

Charlie walked freely up a hill, the light breeze intertwined around her, welcoming her like an old friend. She felt so cold inside. The webs that her heart was attached to, felt frozen, no sword nor magic was unable to cut through it. Frozen to steel. Nothing pretty. That was her life. She dwelled too much on the past, frozen in time, her feelings overpowering her- making her into a different person; a monster.

Before she knew it, Charlie stood at a door of a weather worn looking building, vines twisted their way up towards the roof, making the two great, decaying columns their home. The wood of the door was broken and splintered. Slowly with a heavy heart, she reached out the handle and pushed the door open. Leaving the door to open all the way by itself, she stared inside, seeing what the door was hiding all those years of no visitors. Dark the manor held. Secretes only a few people knew and experienced. Ghosts. Both happy and heartbroken moments. All shared by one person; Charlie.

She walked in and closed the door behind her. Slowly she walked inside another room which was off the hall. Inside she let out a heavy sigh. Tears she felt rise again but she fought them back. Words she let out, to use against Lupin started to echo around her, she didn't mean to show her weaker side. Not now. Not ever. With force Charlie started to tug at her sleeves, trying to pull them down- to hide her scares but she gave up knowing they be their forever, faded or not, she weren't sure.

Letting out a sigh she forced herself to walk forward. Her flat ankle boots echoed upon the floor, disturbing the silence the manor held for a long time. However her eyes were set on the wall before her. Red writing filled the plain walls, all showing her names. Names she used to know friendly and not. On the right side held many maps, small except one in the middle that one was the map on London; all held history itself.

* * *

Lupin stared at the manor which she stood before. She saw Charlie going in, she felt like she needed to do something but what? She didn't know. She was partly to blame for what Charlie was. She had to follow orders but Charlie was her friend at the end of it all, right? She'd never saw Charlie cry before nor see what she really felt. Growing up with her, Lupin remembered how, when she was down or even cried Charlie was always there. She acted like an older sister as it were. It seemed tables had truly changed.

Quietly she opened the door of the manor and stiffly walked in. Guilt started to build, the guilt which never left her yet she buried it deep down. She could lie saying to bury to forget but the truth was she never forgotten how she broke Charlie. The first person she could ever trust to be there for her, to look after her like her own, to be taught about the world and its weaponry. Charlie had done a lot for her, weren't it time for someone to pay her back?

The manor was silent. Her heart telling her to walk in and find Charlie, to talk…well try to anyways. Walking she cringed whenever she made a sound by accident, the hair on the back of her neck stood on their ends, her heart pounding against her chest, telling her she was nervous. Ending in another dark room she felt a pair of eyes upon her but she ignored it, telling herself it was her being paranoid.

Quickly she stood before a wall, her eyes fixed on the red writing, names she recognized; both past and present. One by one she read them, confusion and worry showed in her eyes. All past she tried to leave but held onto her heart, strongly pulling it its darkness. Many events she wanted to forget, but many she relived at night in when asleep. Making her wake up in a sweat. Making her cry asleep. Many things she regretted but one in particular she could say was agreeing to work for Beckett, but it was true she had no choice, matter of speaking. It was either her family she cared about life's or Charlie's and she guessed she took the coward way out.

Lupin stopped thinking, as she felt the cold metal of a pistol digging into the back of her head. The hair of the back of her neck still stood on their ends. Her eyes stayed on the wall before her, showing more fear. Her heart beating against her chest, warning her maybe. She knew she was trespassing but she needed to explain and see her old friend.

"I'm not afraid to shoot." Charlie stated calmly.


	7. Chapter 7

Charlie had her finger on the trigger, ready to shoot if the intruder started to fight back. She may forgotten how to be a person but she hadn't forgotten how to use her weapons. She remembered she used to train with the sword and pistol many hours in the day. First she asked Ian to show her how to use a sword, thinking it was another way to defend herself and show off if any of her bullies started on her but it didn't go too well. Yet she carried on, using targets, swinging and jabbing at the figure she made out of wood to use, anger she showed, words of hate echoed in her mind, giving her no space to think; all leading her to break down at cry. The pistol she got given to by Ian when she joined the force and she kept it ever since. She knew there was better ones out there but her pistol was special.

"The Charlie I know wouldn't kill her friend." Lupin stated while turning around. She saw Charlie freeze, her emotions showed, telling the four walls she was angry and ashamed. "I came here to talk and not fight."

Charlie slowly lowered her pistol and put it back on her belt. She stared at Lupin, standing near her she could see how beautiful she had grown to be, the uniform washing it all away, only giving her a status and a troubled meaning; nothing Charlie gave her reached the surface.

"Why are you here?" She asked gaining her strength, trying to hide what laid inside. "Came to stare at the freak of the town? To see what they say is true, that I'm this monster?" Charlie stood at the window, blocking most of the moonlight, making her look like a black silhouette. Delicate she sounded in these four walls, a small child. Sometimes she stayed in the room, staring out to the hall, she could swear she saw the scene which hunts her each and every day playing just in front of her. Reliving every scent. Every detail. Feeling everything she did on that night. It only lasted a few minutes but not to Charlie. It was with her forever. Many times she tried to escape but failing. "Failure. It seems all I do is fail. I failed to keep those need happy, I failed to keep my half of the deal, I failed to be there for those who I loved. I failed my mother."

"You're not a monster Charlie, all those people you did protect want you back. Everyone does including me I had to find you Charlie." She heard Lupin say.

Charlie didn't answer but stared at the town below. The moon light showing off its details, showing its true self, dark alleys were weak tonight, as the moon was powerful; no cloud in the sky. She could remember how many times she walked those streets feeling free as a bird as the saying goes. Now was a different story. Isn't everyone's? Does people's tale change, they become older and stand up what they think is right. The problem was the law. Many people are too afraid to stand no more as the law becomes more powerful, is there any justice in the world?

_Do you see the world in different colors?  
Do you see the world in black and gray?  
Alone in your thoughts  
How many others have stood where you stand  
Where you stand today?  
I've stood where you stand  
But all, can you..._

"You know nothing." Charlie stated. "You're the one who doubled crossed me Lupin." She whirled around and showed her anger once again. "You work for what we didn't believe in. You remember that? When we used to be a team. When it was us against the world. Beckett's men used to be scared of us. He even knew he couldn't lay a finger on us that was how powerful we were. The both of us. The team." Charlie stormed towards Lupin to stand in front of her again. "Of course you don't. You're one of them now. How could I forget? Should I come quietly or kneel before your knees?"

"Don't be…"

"What? Don't be so stupid?" Charlie asked cutting Lupin off. "I'm sorry, I must look up to you and do what you tell me what to do because you are like them. Must slipped my mind when I was here all the time, trying to drown out the past, to try to forget what I felt and did back then. That's how different we are now Lupin. You've gone up in the world…"She quickly fell quiet. She slowly walked backwards. "I've fallen. The weird thing is I promised myself to not become my father. To drink like the drunks of the town. Now look at me, I'm much worse. Everyone looks down at them but they don't know their side of the story on why they became drunk. Maybe it is their fault but who can blame them? What would you choose if you ever had the choice, would you stay sober forever but to feel the pain of loss and guilt, to be hunted by the past, to befriend your only friend, your shadow or to be drunk to forget what the world can be, what those who you chosen to trust can do and feel nothing at all?"

Charlie gave a harsh chuckle, seeing her old friend's confusion and worry. She turned around, letting her features soften. She stared at the wall taking in all what she had written years before. Reading the names she pictured the faces, many she saw were hanged, some were alive. However one name stood out from the rest; Beckett's. He was high on her kill list. She stopped thinking, listening to what she was thinking.

"I've been a fool, I'm mad. Just leave Lupin." Charlie said. She turned around not hearing her friend walk away. "I said go!"

"Not before you tell me what has been happening and letting me explain myself." Lupin said strongly keeping her ground. "Please Charlie, I want to know…I want help. You were always there for me when I was younger. I do remember those times too Charlie, they haunt me every night. I don't know how I fight it but I just do. The question about if I rather be sober or be drunk, I guess we know the answer already, we just have to look at ourselves. Nothing will ever take the past away Charlie nor the pain and what you felt back then. We all wish we change it but we can't. The only thing we can change is ourselves and our future." Lupin stood closely in front of her old friend, there she could see the pain she felt, the anger she showed more than any feeling and the past she held on to for so long. "I'm here because I'm your friend Charlie. I can't see you like this. I'm forever in your debt. You've done things which I can only dream to do for a person I love. I'm truly sorry that I made you feel like this, it weren't my intention but you left me in London, without a word of goodbye. You just disappeared out of thin air."

Charlie watched as Lupin walked away. "I fought in your name for a few weeks Charlie. However doubt quickly grew within, rumors reached back to me, you know what they were saying? That you were dead. But look where you are standing. You're still alive but living in the past. That is how strong Beckett is, he saw a weak spot in a strong force and he only had to push a few buttons to watch it all crumble down."

"I didn't mean too." Charlie said weakly. "I heard what everyone said behind my back. Including you."

"We were there to protect you Charlie and not against you…"

"You liar!" Charlie yelled before running towards her and knocked her down. She held Lupin down, though she struggled underneath. "I heard what you told Theo the night before I left. You told him that you had a plan, one that Charlie won't like. Before all that I heard you saying nasty things about me!"

"You got it wrong." Lupin said. "I keep telling you I had no choice but to work for him. I've been working for him a few weeks before. He threatened to kill my family, I'm sure you understand. This is what he exactly wants Charlie, he wants to break you."

Charlie stared down at her, anger in her eyes yet hearing them words she let go and stared at her confused. As Charlie was feeling weak, Lupin took the opportunity and stood up, quickly pushed Charlie against the wall; holding her still.

"He wants me dead, so why don't you the job Lupin? Put me out of my misery." Charlie said angrily.

"Because I'm not like him neither are you."

Charlie stared down at her friend, tears she felt sting her eyes as they threatened to escape their cages. Cold and weak she felt. This was what she brought herself, running away from the maybes and the never before.

"What do I have in my life to live anymore Lupin?" Charlie asked. "I destroyed everything I had back in London. All I see this is darkness which surrounds me, rum calls me every waking hour…what sort of life is that? I'm in this hell. Living this darkening cycle of voices inside my head, both day and night they grow louder, talking, they just talking at me. Each day grows harder. I've been so close. So close to call an end. Standing here I still don't know why I didn't." She felt Lupin's grip on her loosen, she pushed her off her and walked away. Digging in her pocket she brought out a box of match sticks, she slowly took one and struck it. She stopped walking and stared at the flame, giving light to her feelings. "I'm weak. I don't deserve to live, but I can't kill myself I don't know why."

"Because deep down the old Charlie is there." Lupin stated.

"Is she? Who was the 'old' Charlie? I fear this was her, sooner or later I become this."

"That's not true Charlie. This isn't fair. He has made you feel like this. Charlie listen to me. You were strong, determined, kind to those you cared for, protective and loyal. I believe you are still are, you just have to believe."

Charlie continued to stare at the burning flame. Many fires had given her warmth. She forgotten how to feel warm, she was always cold inside, to never get warm. She had forgotten how to feel. That was what she thought but seeing her old friends, brought something back but what? She only helped Max, to be stronger than herself, though deep down she felt protective over him.

She quickly blew the flame out, leaving the room to feel cold once more. She turned to the wall once again. The wall showed her past. The past she still lived in. She had ran away from it to still live in fear and became weak. She was the weak spot in the group, everyone could see it and Beckett. They were all protecting her from herself and him, but both grew stronger; more than they imagined. The past had its triumph in the battle.

_Wait for me now?  
Take off this crown  
To break all these vows  
Don't you know?  
Wait for me now  
The airs running out  
Wait for me, wait for me  
Wait for me, wait for me now_

Years of fighting Beckett, she realized he had broken her, by using those closes against her, to use the past and now he was back to finish what he started. He wanted her dead. So why hadn't he came yet? She was half alive, stuck in this whirlwind, why don't he kill her while she was weak? Friends were there to protect each other, giving each other strength and a promise in life.

The promise of safe return undelivered  
The ocean is wider than I first guessed  
When roads disappeared, I followed the rivers  
But somehow got in over my head  
So deep I felt taken

Staring at his name on the wall, anger started to build. "If he wants to kill me, then fine but I won't go without a fight." She stated out loud in a clear voice. She stared at Lupin. "Give him that message Lupin, say it is from an old…friend of his. I be waiting for him."

* * *

**Sorry this chapter didn't go well as I planned, but I wanted to show you the two sides of Charlie, the angry side and the fear side. But I hoped you enjoyed it, planning to do better. if you got any thoughts or anything just say. The song isn't mine it is by Rise Against, it is called: "wait for me."**


	8. Chapter 8

Two days later:

The rain was beating down, the great masses of grey clouds letting out their tears they held for so long. Charlie looked up, letting the rain land on her face. "I guess even clouds can't hold all their emotions in…just like humans." She muttered to herself. Staring at the clouds, her mind went back on to yesterday. Her mind was clear on what she wanted to do and be but that didn't stop her feelings for making her doubt, she wrote a letter to Theo, Gibbs, Ian and Lupin to meet at the edge of the forest, she knew it was tricky as anyone could have read them and she may be surrounded but she didn't care. She had waited too long, waiting in anger and fear.

Seeing her old friends, she noticed how much the world had changed, how much they all have changed and how much she was dwelling on the past. Hearing Lupin harsh words: "I've moved on with my life, it's time you do the same." Charlie lowered her head and let out a sigh, her eyes on the floor. She couldn't stop thinking of that night, the event before and the event with Lupin. She hadn't touched a drop since…she as bared from the tavern but she wanted to show her friends how strong she was. She wanted to change before but she found nothing important to life on for, both her heart and brain was stuck in the past. However seeing the old crew again brought back the old Charlie she guessed, and she needed to help Max, she couldn't lead him down the road she walked down; to be haunted by times before, broken promises, fallen hope, the lonely road only your shadow being your friend, forgetting how to feel joy, warmth and love, to instead feel feelings of the opposite and to either drown them or show it to people you once cared for. No she couldn't let anyone go down that path, especially Max. She might have been the drunk of the town, but not anymore. No more…

"Charlie…?"She heard someone call. Looking up and seeing it was Gibbs she smiled, but she could see concern in the old man's eyes. "You wanted to speak to me?"

"Aye, but I wrote to the others." She replied. "I'm unsure if they will come…times have forced us apart and actions took our place. You didn't tell me why you are back here Gibbs."

"Didn't I? Oh, just need a change of scenery I guess."

Charlie stared at him confused, she knew he didn't like this place it brought back bad memories for him, it weren't his home so he had nothing here except for her or was there something he weren't telling her. She was used to people keeping things away from her but in the past it was her job to bring the truth out…she looked away keeping the thought out of her mind. Keeping the past at bay, she needed to be strong.

The rain still poured down, her clothes stuck to her but she didn't mind, she loved the rain. She loved sitting in it or walking in it, she remembered when she was younger she sat in it doing nothing but stare, she could feel the rain upon her skin, something she wanted to feel, it was calming unlike the punches and kicks she felt nearly every day. She was confused on why those people she saw everyday hated her, she did nothing to them but she guessed they saw her as weak and heard what happened to her mother. Names they used to call her, she heard them in her nightmares, making her wake up each night in cold sweat, her sheets twisted….

"Charlie we got company." She heard Gibbs warn her, making her turn around.

For a few seconds she stared out to the rain unsure who was coming towards them, but she lowered her sword seeing two familiar faces. Putting her sword back on the belt, Theo and Ian stood before her.

_So I was lost, go count the cost,  
Before you go to the holland road,  
With your heart like a stone you spared no time in lashing out,  
And I knew your pain and the effect of my shame, but you cut me down, you cut me down._

"Where is Lupin?" She asked Ian.

"She isn't coming. Beckett has her doing something…but when I get the chance to see her I tell her what you are going to tell us." Silence followed his words, making the men stare at her.

She nodded and stared back at them. "Thank you for coming…I know it is a weird meeting place and the weather is against us, but I've been thinking. I need you all to be on my side, no matter what happens between now and the future…"

"What are you on about Charlie?" Gibbs asked. "It sounds like we going into battle or something."

"Indeed we are." She simply replied. Seeing all their confused looks she carried on. "Remember the times in London, when we were all part of a tight unit? We were the strongest gang, only fools dared to face us and reach death before they even knew it."

"But that was years ago Charlie." Theo stated. "We've all grown up and have jobs to do."

"Yes I know. But they are nothing like what we done back then or are my mistaken, do you like taking orders by the man who destroyed us?"

"No but…"

"But nothing Theo. It is time to make a stand and why not now?"

"Because he is the most powerful man in England." Ian replied. "He can send us all to the gallows…I'm sorry Charlie but I…we can't just go back to what we did. We were young and foolish but times have changed."

"No they haven't." Charlie argued, standing her ground. "We are still the same people. Yes we've grown old but what of it?" She turned to face Gibbs. "Gibbs you're still the most loyal person I know, you are the best drinking partner, have the best stories to tell, but above all you are still here, checking up on me. I guess you are here because of me, because I know you have a big heart." She quickly turned to Theodore. "Theo, you are the kindest person I know, you always backed me in an argument, the navy is lucky to have you. You are smart, you know what to say and you know how to cheer people up; you put everyone before you, I wish I can repay back the gesture friend." She looked back to Ian. "Ian…what can I say? You've always been there for me, ever since I was a child. You're like an uncle not a God Father to me. I've always looked up to you, you gave me the will to see the next day, to face the challenges. You made me strong…you told me to fight not to cower away. Years you've seen me cry, seen the bruises and cuts which those kids did to me. When alone you were there, you helped me through a lot like any family member would have done. You helped my family, went against_ him_ once before, you've put me first before. I know you kill- do what_ he_ orders you to do but deep down behind that mask is the man I call uncle." She turned her gaze to the fort which could be seen above the houses. "Lupin…she was my best friend. We did a lot of things together, I brought her down my path but I still don't know why. I tried caring for her like a big sister but I guess I let her down like I've let you all down, I brought you down to hell. This is why I'm doing this, to show you we can still be a team and forget what happened."

Silence followed after her words, something she didn't need. She became too close to silence all too many times. At the beginning she quite enjoyed the unusual company but slowly through the darkness she heard harsh voices. Voices which sounded like a crowd, voices belonging to those who bullied her. They all lived inside her mind, talking at her, repeating the same words over and over. At night she laid awake as they stopped her from getting any sleep, sometimes they were quiet but mostly they were loud! At day the voices had faces and a body but at night they were nothing but in her mind….

"You don't have to do this Charlie." She heard Theo say gently. "You haven't done anything wrong. The world's a harsh place but fighting isn't always the answer. Just please think about it…I got to do before people notice I've gone."

Before Charlie could say anything Theo turned around and walked away, quickly she realized Gibbs was doing the same. She stepped forward to stop him but she felt Ian's hand on her shoulder. She watched powerless as her two friends walked away to maybe forget their meeting and carry on working or drink.

"You think I'm stupid." Charlie finally stated breaking the silence. She looked to her left to stare at the man.

"No, but I think you should think on what you want Charlie. If you want a war then you are going to cause friction against people and confuse things even more. You are asking a lot of us, to choose a side, one which we all have been working years on to get where we are and what looks stable or to choose hope and what could have been many years ago." He brought her nearer towards him, which she didn't fight against. "You haven't let anyone down lass, I can promise you that. You've grown into a strong, beautiful and very determined woman, your parents would've been so proud of you. Yes you've gone through hell but you are back, that doesn't make you an evil person nor any of your actions. But you have to understand why we are concerned…there is nothing wrong for asking for help at times or to cry."

Charlie stared at Ian, his words sinking in. She knew he was right, she was asking a lot from them all but a question formed in her mind: "When a battle is done, what comes after, is there any peace or does hate still live on?" She didn't know the answer but she could have guessed what the answer was. The human race is filled with war and hate between each other, when one war is done, one is on the horizon, causing grief and bloodshed. Killing weren't her nature, maybe everyone starts like that but in a certain position what choice do they have? Where is the justice in the world? If she wanted something done she needed to do by herself, then she couldn't bring those she cared for down- if caught she bravely face the noose.

"Charlie please don't do anything stupid." Ian said brining her back from her thoughts. "Beckett isn't a man to mess with, you know what he is like, when he has something in mind he won't let it go all too easily. Just be careful…stay out of his way…it's for your own good. Shall we go home?"

* * *

_And I will not tell the thoughts of hell  
That carried me home from the Holland road  
With my heart like a stone and I put up no fight  
To your callous mind, and from your corner you rose to cut me down, you cut me down_

Charlie stood in front of the mirror, staring at herself. She wore her old uniform, black breeches, white button up shirt with braces and a black jacket, ankle boots to finish the look off. She let her fingers follow the lines from the patchwork Ian had paid done, it look brand new…no more holes and it was clean! Something it hadn't been for years. However nothing could take the actions which it faced and been through, as long she was still alive so did the actions.

_So I hit my low, but little did I know that would not be the end,  
From the holland road well I rose and I rose, and I paid less time,  
To your callous mind, and I wished you well as you cut me down, you cut me down,_

But I'll still believe though there's cracks you'll see,  
When I'm on my knees I'll still believe,  
And when I've hit the ground, neither lost nor found,  
If you'll believe in me I'll still believe

She smiled as Ian stood behind her, seeing her uniform. However she could seeing something in his eyes, normally he hid his emotions well but years of knowing him she knew he was worried. He thinking of something but she didn't press.

"Thank you." She said turning around to face him. "I mean it."

"It is just clothes Charlie." He stated lightly.

"I meant for everything you done for me. You're not the bad man that everyone is scared of, only with _him _but with me you're the one who saved me and helped me. You're a good man Ian just remember that, whatever people say or even Beckett, you're are much better than them. You just lost your way a little…"

She quickly gave him a hug, something she was surprised to do and she was guessed he was too as he slowly returned the gesture. Both were the ones who didn't show their true emotion but when they did it was years of holding it in.

Breaking the hug Charlie's arms fell back to her side. She watched with interest as Ian turned around for a few seconds before showing her something from the past, her flat cap hat, which she wore every day; it was part of her uniform.

* * *

_Time will tell on their power minds  
Making war just for fun  
Treating people just like pawns in chess  
Wait 'till their Judgment day comes, yeah!_

Now in darkness, world stops turning  
Ashes where the bodies burning  
No more war pigs of the power  
Hand of God has struck the hour  
Day of Judgment, God is calling  
On their knees the war pigs crawling  
Begging mercy for their sins  
Satan, laughing, _spreads his wings  
Oh Lord yeah!_

_Charlie stared out to the packed tavern, she saw many smiling faces all staring up at her, enjoying her band's music. However throughout the crowd she saw four proud faces staring back, all belonging to her friends. It was her band's many gigs at the tavern she was thankful for the support from both from the crowd and the place, she knew the bar man he was kind but when trouble was about he was not to be messed with. _

_Her smiled dropped as she moved her gaze to now the open door and saw many red costs, she sensed tension through the room as everyone stared at them. Everyone knew trouble was staring right back at them. _

_"I dictate this song to our new guests and their boss." She said before taking the lead on her guitar with short hard chords. _

_Stoneface dog, swirling fog, gates open on the dark dark night  
Standing stone, skull and bone, dead witness to an unseen fight  
Beat the drum, beat the drum, beat forever on the endless march  
Stricken dumb, cut and run, someone is screaming and the sky is dark_

Sword and shield, bone and steel, rictus grin  
Deaf forever to the battles din

March or croak, flame and smoke, burn forever in eternal pain  
Charge and fall, bugle call, bone splinter in the driving rain  
Horses scream, Viking dream, drowned heroes in a lake of blood  
Armoured fist, severed wrist, broken spears in a sea of mud

Sword and shield, bone and steel, rictus grin  
Deaf forever to the battles din

Mother earth, mother earth enfold you in her cold embrace  
Sinking down, killing ground, worm crawling on your cold white face  
Win or lose, nought to choose, all men are equal when their memory fades  
No one knows, friends or foes, if Valhalla lies beyond the grave

Charlie found herself standing in the tavern, she couldn't remember the journey there or found any answer to why she was there. She looked around seeing many men drinking and laughing, women sitting on their laps or walking around waiting to make their moves. Seeing it now with a clear mind made her feel sick, that was what she called home ever since she left London for good. Being drunk she didn't care people's thoughts were nor what happened in the building. No one bothered her and she didn't bother them that was what she liked.

She stood her ground, her legs separated a little and her right hand moved her jacket's side to show her weapon. Her eyes took in what she was seeing before her, however her nose smelled the warm liquid which she had been drowning her past with; rum.

"I thought I told you, you are not welcome here no longer." She heard the bar lady say, making Charlie stare at her.

"Oh it is only quick business…"

"I don't care what it is, I don't want you in here."

"Ah you will care if it means you'll keep this place." Charlie warned staring at her powerfully. "You know it is against the law for this place to open to your dirty business, I'm asking you to stop it or I throw the lot of you in jail."

Charlie stared with anger as the next second the place was full of laughter from the punters and the workers.

"You? You didn't mind previously…if I recall probably you called in here for our services all too many times." The bar lady said while walking around her, her eyes looking up and down on Charlie's body. "A bit weird actually, you think you can change just like that? You think you can stop drinking and become a human once more? It takes more than a change of clothes and days without drink to be back in society. I know how it feels to be left behind to be thrown out with the rubbish. That is why I take in girls to make them feel welcomed and loved, I'm only doing the honest job here."

"How can you all this love? These men pay you to sleep with your girls for one night but quickly it goes to two then more! How is that an honest job? An honest job is what everyone likes and through the law eyes."

"Ah, you think those law men are not the same kind of us? They are exactly like us, they pay for a girl for a night…" The bar lady said before standing closely before Charlie. "I wouldn't try to fight with me…love, I got many people on my side and who do you have?"

"Human rights."

"Ha just that? Good look with that in court." The bar lady said before turning around. "Men show this strange gentleman out."

Charlie stepped forward but as she did many men stood up from their seats and stormed towards her. She fought them off but all was too strong for her. Two men strongly pinned her arms behind her back before throwing her out the window.

* * *

**Sorry for a very long chapter, but need to get things in. None of the songs belonged to me nor any of the characters except my OC, Lupin and the bar lady. The first song was called: "Holland Road" by Mumford and Sons. The second one was called "War pigs" by Black Sabbath and the last one was called: "Deaf forever" by Motorhead. So all credit goes to them. **


	9. Chapter 9

Darkness held great presences, showing no sign of fading away any time soon. One area of town particular was covered in darkness, allowing the buildings to hide their secretes, to block out what they've witness many nights before and what they are used to. Drunk men walk past them, shouting their lungs out to no one particular, to run away with their fantasies like those who run away. Stories reached them as they travelled with the wind, telling them things that no one else did, things making history or adding to their list of both old and new. That night was no different.

Charlie staggered upon her feet. She weren't drunk but she wished she was. Everything would've been better if she was drunk, she thought. She wouldn't feel the pain. Blood trickled out of her nose where she had been hit, cuts upon her arms, tears at her clothes and bruises started to form. Yet as her body took all the hits, she was mentally fine. She gave each men a good hit with her fists, they had no weapons and thought she be fair and play along, to then turn the tables at the end.

However it seemed her body was weaker than her mind. More hits were taken but she still didn't stop. It seemed her fighter spirit was still within, the days of fighting the companies' men and other gangs had been good training. They all put a good fight but then there was a lot of her but now it was only her.

Charlie stepped forward seeing her opportunity but the man was too quick and too strong. As she forced her fist forward, to hit his face he quickly blocked her hit with his arm and punched her in the stomach, making her stumble backwards. The other man kicked at her legs and finally punched her in the face; making her fall.

On the ground she heard them heaving heavily. She felt their hungry eyes upon her weak body. She was glad they didn't know she was a woman or else she would've been in a worse state. Licking her bloody lips she tried to gather all her strength to stand but one man kicked her in the side and rolled her over.

She stared at the pair of the greedy eyes, seeing hunger for blood. They had pain and now it was time to finish what they were asked to do; to kill. Charlie ignored the pain which raced around her body, telling her to rest but her heart was beating against her chest, telling her to move to safety. She let out a yell as one stood on her wrist, making her stoop completely. She torn eyes away from her left wrist and to the men again; fear showing.

She watched with horror and felt powerless as the other pulled out a small dagger which had been hiding under his shirt. Crooked smiles appeared on their beaten faces seeing her fear. The one with the dagger stepped closer and knelt down to her side, placing the dagger on her chest, showing he weren't bluffing. Slowly and lightly he made the dagger travel down her chest. Getting back to her heart, he started to press harder. Nothing she could do but try and stop him, but he just grabbed her right wrist.

All they could hear was her fear and smell sweat and blood, nothing pleasant. However the door banged open, letting a cool air whirl around the tension room and hit them in their bruised faces. The two men stared at each other in confusion then back to the door. The one with the dagger slowly stood up, taking back his dagger, the other stayed put.

Footsteps Charlie heard entering the stunned room. She couldn't see who it was in the dim light, the figure stayed in the shadows. But whoever it was held a massive presence.

"Who are you?" One of the men asked.

"A person which could get you hanged." The stranger replied, his voice held a cold edge.

Charlie could see the men were considering to kill her and deal with the stranger or to leave her to the stranger to leave her to rot. It seemed they went for the second option and slowly drew away and left the empty building.

Charlie let out a restricted sigh, fear still showed through her dark eyes. The stranger's voice wakened her past, making her freeze where she was. When she left London she wished she wouldn't have to face the man ever again only to kill him but once again she was powerless in his presence; something he would take pleasure in, to show how really weak she seemed to someone with much power like him.

"It seems we always meet like this…Miss Jacobs." The stranger stated freely. "How tired and fragile you look down there." Charlie tired ignoring him and the pain she was in, she tried to stand but she was made to fall back on her back. Lying there she stared at the buckled shoe which weighed her down on her chest and to its owner. She frowned meeting Beckett's eyes and tried lifting it up with both hands but was stopped as he pointed his sword in her face. "Ah none of the fighting business here Miss Jacobs, I came here to have a chat."

"A stupid place just to have a chat." Charlie bravely stated. "Don't you know the saying: "walls have ears."?" She continued to stare but she saw nothing from the man who ruined her life.

She watched as he quickly pulled back his sword and put it away and took back his foot. Watching him walk away she went back to stand back up. Getting to her side she coughed up her blood and let it land on the ground beside her. Weakly she stood up feeling his gaze upon her, guessing what he was thinking.

"I had it all under control." She felt like to state.

"It seemed like it." He simply answered not believing her.

She frowned but wiped some of the blood away with her sleeve._ Ian's not going to be happy about this, the clothes are one thing but Beckett is a whole different level. _She thought to herself. Brushing the dirt off her clothes, she held on to the pain not wanting to him to hear.

"I had worse…why are you really here for?" She asked looking back up.

"Well a simple thank you be nice…"

"Why should I thank you? What have you done that I should be forever in your debt?" Charlie asked angrily. "You ruined my life. Shall I thank you for that or the murder of my own mother or turning my best friend against me?" She stared angrily into his eyes, she found herself standing dangerously close but she didn't care; all she could see was calm in his eyes.

"In fact you turned your friend against yourself." Beckett stated plainly. He slowly walked away from her, slowly adding: "You're the one who left her. Kept her in the dark Miss Jacobs not me. I gave her answers she wanted. She was afraid for you. She knew you were hiding something from her and somehow knew I had something to do with it. At first she didn't believe me on what I had to say but slowly she understood and saw what was real and what was not. I'm afraid you can't hide away forever." He stopped walking and stared at the still Charlie. "Business is harsh Miss Jacobs, your mother knew that. I made sure that she wouldn't get harmed if she done her half of the deal." Giving out a cold chuckle, he quickly added: "It runs in the family, do a deal with me and don't fulfil their own half."

"Why are you really here?" Charlie finally spoke up turning around.

"I knew Miss Smith wouldn't bring you to me nor would Ian, so I thought I come to you." He simply replied. A smug showed on his face as he saw a confused expression upon her face. "I guess they didn't tell you the truth on why they are here. Shame that friends and family keep secretes from each other and don't trust. You really thought they searched for you and forgave you? You really have no idea on how this world works Miss Jacobs. When you broke someone's trust it is really hard to gain it back, most go without getting any back. Years people think of you dead but here you really are half alive. What do you really think on your friend's opinion on you?" He watched as she lowered her eyes.

"They probably think that I be better off dead." She stated sadly.

"No, they think of you dead still. The old Charlie Jacobs is long gone. Never getting back." Beckett said. "You see the world changes with time and you have to make your ground or be left behind. That's the difference between you and me, I have the power and what do you have?"

"You want me dead, you could have let the men kill me." Charlie stated knowing after everything she had only two enemies, one being herself and the other was standing in the same room as her.

"Ah but where would the profit be in that? I need information…more like facts. You remember our deal Miss Jacobs? I give you freedom and you give me information."

"I done nothing wrong…"

"You lied to so many, of course you would soon believe them yourself but that doesn't cover up the truth. Where would the justice be in the world?"

"Funny coming from you." Charlie stated angrily. "You're the one who killed my mother and want me dead, why? Wait don't tell me, all on the good course of information?" Charlie quickly drew out her sword threateningly and pointed at him aggressively. "Titles and wigs really do hide people's ego. Do you know what people call you behind your back? I'm going to put an end to all this and kill you."

She swung but her hit was blocked as he quickly drew out his sword. She stared angrily at him as years she believed she could kill him to revenge for her mother but times had changed, she was much weaker than him and sometimes dreams are dreams. She pushed him away and tried jabbing at him but again he blocked, he grabbed her wrists; to stop her.

"Wouldn't you want to know why I need you alive- the information I need?" He asked.

She frowned and kicked him in the knee making him let go of her. She stepped away to get a better swing she pointed her sword in his face and quickly added: "Coming from you, only means bad." Before swinging at him.

Many times they both swung at each other but to be blocked, both showed determination and great skills. Metal clashing against each other filled the empty room, anger and pain rushed through Charlie, with anger she forgot she was in pain. Quickly the pain took over and Beckett took his opportunity and kicked her sword of her hand. She stared at him and his sword as he pointed it towards her chest. She could hear herself breathing heavily.

She started to walk backwards, trying to figure out what to do. She stopped as she felt something solid behind her. Glancing behind her she saw piles of creates stood at her waist. She grabbed a bottle which stood on top of one and threw it towards Beckett, distracting him. It worked and she took the time to run to her sword, but as she stretched her hands out to grab it, she let out a gasp as she felt one arm wrapped around her, pulling her back. He made her stand before him, he locked her left arm against her body and pressed his sword against her neck.

"You really have grown into your mother. Shame about the drinking…lost in darkness." Beckett whispered harshly. "Let's hope you don't go the same way as your mother or even you father."

Charlie tried breaking free but he held her tighter, she felt the sword cut into her skin. Quickly her eyes grew wild seeing his other hand rush before her face, before she could break free he held the cloth against her mouth and nose, she tried to fight against it but in a matter of seconds she couldn't help but breathe in the strange odour. "Sweet dreams Miss Jacobs." She heard him say before letting the darkness surround her and let her eyes close.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello readers, if you followed my Danielle Turner series don't worry I'm planning to post up another chapter in the holidays I just haven't been in the right state of mind shall we say or have the time but I have many povs planned. If you don't read them I think you should start :3 **

**Anyways I hope you enjoy this chapter XD**

* * *

Pain Charlie felt. She was used to the term. Pain surrounded her life. She either hurt those she loved or she was hurt herself. A going cycle. Years she question if it was ever going to stop but seeing no end nor feel no different she gave up. Another thing she had done. What sort of role model was she? Not the kind that Max nor anyone should have. She had let down Lupin many times in the pass but she thought she had fixed it by being there when she was low…it seemed not. Now she was standing on the opposite line. She worked for her enemy. She planned not to kill only him. Yet if someone stood in her way she hoped it weren't Lupin.

Opening her eyes, Charlie let out a groan. She slowly lifted her head letting her eyes focus on where she was. She felt her body ache. Her body was burning with pain. Ignoring the pain for a few moments she concentrated where she was. She was sitting in what looked like a cell, her eyes stared at the black iron bars which stood a few feet before her. Years she had been trapped in her own cell with no way out but now she was in an actual prison cell. Confusion took over her not understanding how she got there but quickly her features softened as she recalled the event, the fight with the men and Beckett.

Trying to forget all about it she tried to attend to her cuts to see how much damage there really had been done but she looked up at her wrists noticing there were chained to the wall. Resting her head against the wall, she let out a sigh. "He thought of everything." She stated disappointed. "Typical."

Slowly she turned her head to the left, her eyes catching a dark mark on her inner arm. She realised it was the end of her feather tattoo, which was a medium length. She remembered she had got it done before she left London, she believed it was a statement- a meaning. Freedom. That she thought it meant. Feather from a bird. A bird was free. They flew high in the sky, making it look they have no limits, they could fly anywhere they could; free to be. She remembered there were many bird designs, an owl representing mystery and intelligence, the peacock boasts its kindness, luck and compassion, the eagle stands up for its freedom and bravery, the phoenix promises eternal life and the seagull shows of its love for the sea, to fight for its place in the world- to rise above life's tide; to believe in itself.

Lowering her eyes, she guessed she reminded herself of a seagull. Well when she had it done but now…she was a broken bird. She tried to fly in the storm trying to be strong as people saw her but lighting struck her and down she fell into the black hole which surrounded her. Waves crashed down upon her, she tried to swim to the top to breathe but they kept on crashing upon her, making her go further; taking the air from her, making bruises and cuts visible. Alone by the pack. Injured from the war. The past heavy upon her shoulders. She needed to share the load but she learned not to trust so easily, she let down those she loved and others had let her down, she was alone in this war she was fighting in, could she ever be free from herself, the inner thoughts and her own body cell? She didn't know.

* * *

Lupin laid in her bed, still as she could be. Her heart had calmed down from waking up from her nightmare. For many years they hadn't been so bad but a few months back they had grown worse like the first time she had them. She guessed it was because she was coming back where things happened to Charlie, she remembered when they were together Charlie finally told her of her history with the company and Beckett, the reasons why she hated him so much that she rather risked her own life and die then to join him. She was set in her ways, she remembered thinking but learning the truth she found out underneath all the layers Charlie was just like her: lost, alone and broken she just hid it all too well. Years of being bullied and learning not to trust anyone had a big toll on her, she didn't know how much effect it had on her.

Lying in bed she remembered Charlie fell quiet, Lupin thought she was holding back her tears but she didn't question or showed she knew maybe she should have done but all too late. It was all too late now. Many times she had been angry with Charlie for keeping her in the shadows, she had learnt she had secret meetings with people with no business but to kill, people who was against the law and pirates. Back then she thought she was being treated unfairly by her best friend but now she thought she was being selfish, as she learnt of her past. Why would she tell Lupin those things, was she anything to her back then but a piece of information, another person on her side or did she really love her like a sister? There were too many questions to ask Charlie, those including where, why, who, when, what, along with questions full of concern, pain and confusion but she hadn't seen Charlie since that night, where she saw two sides of her old friend, hurt and anger all caused by Beckett and figures of her past.

Letting out a sigh, Lupin sat up and swung her legs around so they dangled above the floor. Tiredness showed on her pale face, Beckett had been getting her to do longer hours, she had been doing paper work, errands and her duties. At first she thought nothing of it but now something at the back of her mind told her there was a reason for it but what? Did he know that Charlie was here? Did he think she hadn't seen her yet and wanted to prevent them to see each other again? So many questions filled her, she was unsure who to ask but first thing first she needed to speak to Charlie.

* * *

Lupin stood outside Charlie's house. Standing in the early morning's light Lupin could see the house had been standing for a long time, cracks were shown and decay, yet it still held a great presence, standing on top of the hill, the woods on the right of it and the cliff to the left, it looked down at the town; the king of the town she called it. However feeling small compared its big presence, Lupin knocked on the door, hoping Charlie would see her.

A few seconds passed and no answer came. Again she knocked and waited for much longer but still no answer came. Confusion filled her as she knew Charlie didn't like sleeping in not on a beautiful day like how it was. Knocking louder the door opened slightly making her stop. Her heart started to pound against her chest as fear built up inside her, thinking of worse things that could happen.

"Charlie?" She called while pushing the door open wider and walked in. Walking into the hall she turned her head seeing how grand the house used to be when people used to live in there, she could guess how beautiful it was. She stopped as something on the floor caught her eye. Looking down she knew what it was straight away, no one could mistake it. It was faint as if someone tried to clean it but nothing could wash the blood away nor wash it out from Charlie's mind. Looking back up she called Charlie again but no answer.

"Charlie? Please I am here to talk… I know things had been tough between us but…"Lupin stopped as she noticed the door which lead to the room they talked before was open. She walked in and stared at the wall with names on. Years they had been a team. Years they had been friends. Years they used to know each other. Now they were like ghosts. She with the others were ghosts of Charlie's past, and Charlie herself was a ghost to them. No word. No letter. Nothing to confirm she was still alive or even dead.

Her eyes stopped reading as they landed on her own. There she was up along with the others, they were truly ghosts of her past, people she thought she could trust to be always there and look after her but they all broken their vow. What was going through Charlie's mind when she wrote all this, was she sober or drunk? Things she didn't know, but she guessed she was angry, upset and hurt. Remembering people breaking her and breaking their promises….

Slowly Lupin's eyes landed on Beckett's making her frown. Just reading his name made her angry. He had a lot to answer to her along with the others but her mind was to set things not to tear it all away again. She didn't want to go down that road again. What choice did she have, to work for Beckett to save her family or to protect Charlie and let them all die, what sort of choice was that?

Lupin looked down and looked at the uniform she was wearing. "Did I choose with my heart or my mind?" She asked. She could remember the angry cries of men, the piecing screams from women and the tears from young children, years she had to deal with people being scared of her all reminding her what Charlie said. She was working with their enemy, working for what they fought against and she remembered when she said '_should I come quietly or be on my knees?' _"She's bloody right. She always was. God damn it Charlie what have you got yourself into now?"

* * *

Running into the fort, her mind was in a whirlwind, her heart pounding and her body ached. But seeing Ian she skidded to a stop making him stare with confusion.

"Miss Smith, is something wrong?" Ian asked.

"…It's Charlie. Have you seen her?" Lupin asked trying to get her breath back.

"Not since yesterday afternoon why?"

"She isn't at her house and I asked at the tavern and they haven't seen her either."

"I'm sure she is out there somewhere. She is an adult Lupin, she can look after herself." Ian stated but Lupin couldn't help but notice his concern.

"Sorry sir to interrupt but Lord Beckett requires you in his office." A guard said to Ian and waited for him to nod before leaving again.

* * *

**Sorry to split the chapter up but I felt like I had to do two POVS and to leave it on a cliff hanger.**


	11. Chapter 11

Charlie stood at Beckett's desk, she was alone which she was confused upon. She guessed she was arrested on some story of being a pirate or a thief…well things she was but that didn't come to account to why she was in his office; shackled.

Being alone Charlie had taken advantage of it, she knew a guard or two would be at the door so she couldn't run out or flee. She walked out to the balcony and saw how far it was to jump, she was planning to face Beckett in her free time but also without broken bones. Being at the rail she stared out to the sea, she took in a deep breath taking in the sea air. She hadn't left Port Royal since she left London to live there, she didn't plan to stay at the port but things had been bigger than she thought. Staring at the sea her mind went on to her parents, they were both pirates, many countries knew them by their bad needs but to the pirate world they were heroes, she had heard many tales about them, on how they won many battles against the navy and the company, on how two strong people fell in love and on how they became two fierce pirates. Retelling them in her mind, Charlie turned away and walked back inside, her heart full of wonder.

Standing at the desk again, she stared at many parchments which had Beckett's hand writing on. They all looked important. A smirk formed on her face as an idea came into mind, which involved the important documents suspiciously landing in the fire which was low behind the desk. She reached over and picked one up, her eyes landed on the writing, they followed it but couldn't really read it. Hearing a voice from outside the office made her react very quick, she put the paper back on the desk where she found and turned around to face the door, there she leaned on the desk and folded her arms across her chest and crossed her legs at her ankle; her face plain.

Tension swept through the room for a seconds but as Ian stood at the door it flew back out. They both shared their confusion but Charlie went back to being plain faced. She watched as Ian closed the door behind him, not wanting anyone to overhear their conservation.

"Hello." Charlie stated freely acting like things were normally and she weren't locked in shackles.

"Hello…"Ian returned the gesture but quickly shook his head confused what was going on. "Charlie…why are you here?"

"Oh you know…"She started to reply before standing up and walked a few steps away from the desk. "I thought I come and see you." She realised how confused Ian looked, she could noticed anger in his eyes. "Come on Ian, can't you take a joke…."

Ian quickly closed the gap between them and grabbed her by her collar. He held her against the wall, his hands tightly holding her up. "You're the one who threatened Beckett?" He asked angrily, his eyes burning. "Why? After everything I told you. I warned you what will happen and you went against my word."

"Oh I see the story has already travelled so far…" Charlie stopped as Ian pushed her against the wall again to make her tell the truth. Many times she had seen him like that but he hadn't turned on her, before he spoken words and warned her, now it was a different time. "You're the one who lied to me."

"What?"

"You didn't come and find me out of the good of your heart. You're not the man who I knew…"

"You left me in London when I needed you." Ian spilled in anger.

Charlie stared at him with confusion, she noticed he was regretting on what he said but it was the truth. Slowly he let her go and let Charlie stare at him. She watched as Ian started to walk away in anger.

"I…I…."

"Just like your father." He stated angrily. "He left me when I needed him the most. He left us both." He whirled around and showed his anger. "I tried to teach you not how to be just like him…but it seems all was put to waste." He let out a deep breath, trying his hardest to stay calm. He lowered his head trying to think. Looking back up, Charlie could still see his anger with her. "I don't understand what went through your mind when you threatened him but I know you need to stop pretending. Years you've grown used to it but no more Charlie."

"I…why didn't you tell me? If people told me they needed me I could have stayed." Charlie stated. "Years I thought I've been alone, the world upon my shoulders, fighting my own war but through it all that, I tried to be there for people…I may have not been a good friend to Lupin or a good god daughter but I did try Ian. You told me to fight on, not to cry in front of those who bullied me and not to look weak and this is what I've turned into. Keeping all your feelings in and fighting with yourself, it gets to you. I think you know what I'm talking about Ian. You and my father were close, he done something to Beckett because he wouldn't waste his time to kill my mother and brought me in for questioning and kill me later, he maybe betrayed your trust and left town." Charlie let out a breath before adding: "Yes I most probably turned out like him, I'm the drunk of the town, broken, foolish and untrustworthy but do you blame me? As I asked Lupin, would you rather be always sober to feel everything or to be drunk to not to feel anything?"

"Sober because that way I know where I stand." Ian replied. "I said all those things to help you Charlie. You were being bullied, I was the only person you could turn to, so would you be better off if I left you alone? No you bloody wouldn't. You had a hard life Charlie, it's not a punishment but you're parents chose their paths knowing where it would lead them too."

"That's enough Ian. I'm sure you're used to Miss Jacobs' empty words." A cold voice broke the tension making both of them to stare at Beckett who now stood at the door. "I'm glad you were both here before I was…to let all your anger out or that would have been awkward."

Charlie stared at him with anger, watching up walk through the tensioned room so freely to his desk. She noticed Ian was still staring at her unsure how to feel anymore. She stared back confused herself. She was angry but guilt creped in.

"Sorry sir, about how rudely we acted." Ian stated but still didn't turn around. "Miss Jacobs would like to apologise about last night."

Charlie stared at Ian with shock but then with anger. "I don't apologise about my actions if I don't regret them."

"And you wonder why you stand where you are." Ian stated gruffly.

"I…most of it weren't my fault and you know it Ian."

"Then who's was it? I was there when you needed me, I've looked after you since your mother died, and I was there when you were growing up." Ian stated. "Of course it is everyone's fault but yours."

"It's not like that. Of course I've done things that brought me here, I have worn these shackles more times I can remember, but it weren't me who made me leave London."

Ian stared at her confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Oh he hasn't told you?" Charlie asked, hitting at Beckett who kept quiet. "It was him. He threatened if I didn't leave he would kill us all. I know it was cowardly but don't it show how much I really do care about you?"

"Is that true?" Ian asked Beckett.

"Well…yes."

"Why?"

"Because I needed to bring you all down somehow."

Charlie stared with bated breath, she felt Ian's anger and knew he was trying to hide it but even the strongest have to show their feelings at times. She watched as he took a step to the desk but decided against and stormed out, slamming the doors, leaving Charlie alone with the man who turned others against her. She took a few steps towards the door but stopped hearing Beckett saying: "He needs to be alone and we have important things to discuss." Which made her turn her head in anger.

"You are selfish more than people say. After everything people have done for you, you just cast them aside as if they are nothing."

"Tell me Miss Jacobs what has people done for me? Do you think I would stand here if these people you talk about have done things for me? No, I stand here because life is cruel and you have to make your own way to survive using whatever to get you there." He said before standing behind his desk. "Of course you know that. You've seen many men stronger than us, smarter and quicker but they don't stand here, they stand in the gallows listening to their death music, waiting for the drums to stop and for the floor to drop. In the police force you saw many brutal murders, heard many motives and learned many weapons, but the most important thing you learnt was you learnt about all the different people outside your window. Those who know what side they stand on, who they fight for, those who don't know or just want to be left alone…."

Charlie turned her head back to the door but saw a guard standing in her way. She brought her hands to her left side but feeling nothing there she stared at her side and looked back up at him.

"Blood is not what I want Miss Jacobs but if you do make it hard for yourself then I can hurt you, enough to make you alive but you will wish you was dead." Beckett threatened standing his ground behind his desk. Quickly he picked up a bottle of whiskey from his desk and poured it in two small glasses. "I'm sure you wouldn't want that, we could come to some agreement, to save us a lot of time and a lot of words."

Charlie for a few seconds glanced at the guard then to Beckett, slowly she backed away from the door and turned back around to face the office. Letting her eyes wonder the room the more she disliked it. She saw an unfinished map of the world, shapes of ships sailing around countries. She guessed it was the company and how the man who controlled them all thrive to conquer all countries, to kill bad people, thieves, pirates and control the sea. Another idea she disliked.

"Ah I see you find some interest for the map." She heard Beckett say. In the corner of her eyes she saw him standing beside her. She noticed he was offering a drink but she didn't move.

"No, just seeing how stupid you really are and this proves it." Charlie stated. "You really think you can conquer all and kill thousands? You know what they say what lived before us? Monsters, things which would tear us apart, things which live in nightmares we dream of and those told to scare people. But I think…I know those monsters live today. They are the ones who built the world how it is today and forever it will grow. Many people won't like what they've done but why would they care, they're the one who has the power, the right people and strength. That's where people go wrong. To think that they are different from the rest of us. Some don't think they just do. Those monsters are us. Humans we see them but inside…that is another story."

She moved away hating to be near the man. She walked away letting her words sink into the silence. Many years she had been keeping words to herself. No one to talk too. No one to express their hate of the company. No to listen too. Years she had been locked up in her black, cold, iron bar cell with no one but herself to listen too. Slowly losing herself in the deep silence- the one she befriend many years before but kept at bay when she was stronger….

"If you think you can get information out of me you have another thing coming." Charlie stated strongly staring back at him.

"Making it hard for yourself already…how would your friends think if they see you half alive?" Beckett asked while placing the cups down then walked towards her to circle around her a few times adding: "They thought of you dead all these years, slowly they all doubted you were going to come back, it was Theo first the one who you speak so highly of, then Mr Gibbs who you see an uncle in. Miss Smith and Mercer well they were the strongest ones in the group after you of course. They were harder to persuade but finally they doubted your return." He stopped behind her for a few seconds then walked back to his desk. "What was it that the people called you? Oh yes I remember the bird of fire, the phoenix. All your passion, anger and determination to fight me, to end all what I built. They said you died three times before but when the light touches you, you come back alive. Now I'm not a man of mythology nor believes in silly tales. I believe in what I see with my eyes. I know you are smart Miss Jacobs, would do anything for those you care for, a great leader you were and still could be. I only ask two things of you. One you know, the other is far more dangerous for the two of us. You see we started on the wrong foot…"

"You killed my mother I don't think that is starting on the wrong foot. You wanted to kill me but made me watch my mother die instead!" Charlie said shortly cutting him off, making him let out a sigh and turn to stare back at her.

"We started on the wrong foot, I think we can be a good team when we can work together, with my brains and your handy work with a sword we can destroy anyone."

"You have Ian for that job. Why need me as well? Haven't you heard the saying: "Too many cooks can spoil the broth"? You have Lupin and Ian under your control. How do you know you can trust me? I could kill you in the middle of the night without anyone realising."

"Because I know how much you want your old life back, to have your gang under your command. You would have power back into your hands, the law on your side, everything against your name erased and all what happened in Port Royal gone."

"But it won't be that easy. Everything still lives inside, people still feel hate for a person who breaks a promise or seek revenge for those who killed their loved ones. You think the click of your fingers we can forget what happened, people be on their knees or fear you? The world don't run like that Beckett and you know it. I could accept this offer, be stupid enough to think they would forget what happened back in London and pretend there is no tension between us but Lupin and Ian would not, I've done more to them then repay them back."

"I was afraid you would say that. You see Miss Jacobs not a lot of people would give you a choice. They would do things to break you…living like you have has broken you, hearing your hate for the world, your anger towards me and your confusion of your friends I see you are stuck in the middle. You want me dead but that would confuse things even more for your friends and yourself and I know you don't want to put them further in danger nor would they want you in danger." Beckett said while walking to the balcony doors. Facing outside he added: "After everything your friends are still loyal to you Miss Jacobs, people find it hard to find anyone so loyal than they are. You've done well to find them. But how long do you think their loyalty will last?"

"If you hurt them I…"

"You what Miss Jacobs?" Beckett asked turning around cutting her off. "Your empty threats do nothing in the world no more. Maybe they did back in London but that was years too late. I'm not planning to hurt them only if you don't come."

"Go where?"

"I'm inviting you to dine with me."

Charlie stared at him confused. She wanted to ask him to repeat himself, she was sure she misheard him but he plainly stared back at her. She was confused on why he invited her, but she guessed he planned to get her onto her side another way.

Getting her mind around the idea she broke the odd silence by saying: "No. I would rather face Davy Jones then to spend another minute with you."

"They say it is bad manners to refuse a lord's offer." Beckett stated before walking back to his desk.

"Well I'm not the one for manners." She stated but quickly grew quietly as she saw him smirk, staring at her.

"Just like your parents. Brave enough to stand on the other side but foolish to speak out of term." He stated while turning around to face the low fire. "With time they changed, oh yes everyone changes within time but them…time is changing Miss Jacobs, you've seen the world how it is, asked many questions about it, wondering who you can trust or not." He stopped and gave her a side ward glance. "As I learnt you've seen many troubles, asking questions about the purpose of life."

"No help from you small man." She stated angrily.

Charlie watched as he scoffed and turned back around to face his desk.

"Is that the best you can do?"

"No, I got a whole list of things I can call you. Years I've been alone-hiding. In those times I wondered who I trust, but I know for certain two people I can't." She said before walking to the desk, forcing her fear in. Standing before the desk she sat down on the chair and rested her feet on the wood of the desk; crossing her legs at the ankle. "You and I. You killed my mother for information she didn't know, hated my foolish father." She leaned forward and picked up an apple from the fruit bowl and the small glass of whiskey ignoring Beckett's irritation look. She drank the drink in one and placed the glass back on the desk before leaning back in the chair. "You say you want information but what will I gain from telling?"

"Freedom, isn't that what you always wanted?" Beckett asked before pushing her feet off the desk.

It was Charlie's time to scoff. "Freedom?" She asked before biting into the apple. "Nah, of course that is what I thought I wanted but growing up like how I did you learn freedom is never free- not real for many people. We all think we are free but are we?" She added before swallowing her piece of apple. "Running away weren't freedom. I left those I cared for and that hurts more than words, weapons and what you have in your torture room. You know this, which brought you here to make calculations to lead you to this." She waved her hand to show she was talking about the office. "I want answers Beckett. What I do after is up to me not you. I'm not your puppet no more."

"Ah I was wondering when that was coming. You always blame me for your killings."

Charlie lowered her apple and stared up at Beckett in anger. "It was you who…I don't deny to some I killed on my own actions but the others were on yours."

She watched in anger as he walked away from the desk once again and to the map which was on the wall behind her. It seemed he had ignored her comment.

"I heard you had many meetings with pirates and those who had their minds set on blood." Beckett stated breaking the silence, his eyes were set on the wall his voice plain. "The force promoted you on your captures and your won cases. But did they know who did most of the deals? What did you promise the men that you saw do the deal? I'm sure they didn't like it that you were the one who got the top of the deal and what did they get?"

Charlie lowered her gaze to stare at the apple, guilt seeped in.

"You hate me, I need information, your parents betrayed me and your father is still out there somewhere." Beckett added. "Actions, words and torture hasn't brought information out of you. Torture of the world- being alone. Mercer is loyal but he will do anything to protect you. He will seek revenge to anyone who hurts you, like yourself but you only have revenge for one person." He turned around before adding: "Me. It's been  
many minutes since we've been in this office alone and still you haven't raised a threat." Charlie stared at him in anger but staring at the door she noticed the guard wasn't there no more, they had been alone. "I'm only inviting you around for food nothing else."


	12. Chapter 12

Charlie stood inside, doubt filled her. She knew Beckett on the basis of business, wanting to rule- drives on power and finds ways to get what he wants. This time it was information about her own father, something she considered dangerous as it was her father, he was family and she grew up believing families stuck together no matter what. However she learnt family isn't always blood but who loves you and you love back.

"Ah Miss Jacobs you finally arrive." She heard Beckett say, she stared at him but didn't say anything.

She took many detours, she got ready early and walked around the town, trying to make up her mind to go or not, her mind was full of questions, doubt, confusion and hurt, leaving no space at all for good thoughts (though they were on the small side before).

As Beckett's eyes lowered, Charlie followed in confusion but as they rested on her arms she knew he was staring at her tattoos. Both arms full of ink, some were bigger than the others, some were symbols telling her why it was important and others were images telling their own story. Looking back up she noticed a man was standing near her his eyes upon her, she could see shock and fear in this eyes.

"The weapons Miss Jacobs, there's no use for them here." Beckett stated. Seeing she weren't giving them up too easily he added: "I promised it was food not war. You are safe here."

Glaring at him, Charlie wanted to shoot him there and then but seeing Ian walk in she stared at him. Only a few seconds they stared at each other but both said nothing. Bringing her attention back to the situation she drew her pistol and handed to the man who stood near her and then the sword.

She stepped forward but was stopped as Beckett stood forward. "All weapons Miss Jacobs."

Charlie frowned hating the man even more. She slowly dug under her waist coat and drew out a knife, one which Lupin gave her before parting, not knowing Charlie wasn't going to return. She had kept it, making her think of her friend, many times she had embedded it in wood of tables and slit people's throats with it, it was a good, strong weapon just like her friend.

She stared at it for a few seconds likening the idea which formed in her mind but knew it would get her more in trouble, she faced Beckett too many times then she liked and knew he could order men do anything to her, to get information out or to hurt her, maybe that's why she was there or was it because she weren't the person she pretended to be?

Giving the butler her knife she watched as he retreated out of the hall with all her weapons. She felt empty and powerless-useless, she felt silly now thinking of it but her weapons made her feel safe and made her feel whole, it was an excuse to have them, she made herself a name in fights, people used to be scared of her, now that's all gone.

Walking through the Manor to the dining hall, Charlie felt out of place. She hadn't set inside a manor full of light, colour and life since she was eight. She had grown use of her own company, dark colours and the shadows; voices being her only friend. Staring at Ian who was just in front of her, she felt both tension and hurt, she knew he was thinking of earlier. She wanted to say something, to apologise (the rare words that left her mouth), she wanted to talk to him privately but being angry and hurt she knew she didn't want to talk to anyone but when was the time to talk?

Sitting down at the table, Charlie couldn't help but look around her. She felt small, she wondered if Beckett felt the same but she guessed his massive ego made up for his height. The wooden table was long and wide, giving her space, enough to be far away from Beckett and enough time to run if she needed too.

"I always thought a dress would look flattering on you." She heard Beckett state while sitting down himself.

Charlie stared at him with a frown, but she held her tongue and stared at Ian who stood by. "I take that as an insult not a complement." She stated, staring back at Beckett.

"Charlie." Ian warned.

"What? Just telling the truth. Everyone says telling the truth is good for you but is it really?" Charlie asked. "You should know Beckett, as you're the master of lies."

"How did you come to that conclusion Miss Jacobs?" Beckett asked, while placing his glass down.

"You make up deals, bring people's hopes up and then just let them all fucking down. You make empty deals only to get what you want but I want to know, does it satisfy you to watch those who believed in what you say to be crushed or is there actually a human part in you, telling you it is wrong?"

"Charlie you going to make it worse." She heard Ian state but she ignored him at continue to stare at Beckett.

"Not going to answer Beckett? What a shame that is because if you don't answer my question then I won't answer yours." Charlie said, her words laced with anger. She got up and stormed towards the door before stopping. "Do you actually remember those who you make a deal with, who you lie too? You probably don't, but those who do, are those who are foolish to agree to the terms of emptiness. All those lies have pile up to make this manor and your ego and what has it built for them? Nothing. All what they had and dreamt gone. Disappeared out of their sight as darkness takes over them."

"Not all are empty Miss Jacobs. As I recall ours were less than empty words. You shared your views and your anger but at the end we came to an agreement. I kept my half of the deal now it's time to keep to yours. You should be grateful, I could have treated you like the others but I saw potential in you and knew what I could get from you."

Charlie turned around and stared.

"You said you couldn't trust two people. One being myself but why yourself?" Beckett asked picking up from the silence.

Charlie glanced at Ian, she saw worry in his dark eyes. She had hurt him too much, she had turned into her father- to something she didn't want to be. She didn't want to explain herself in front of Ian but she couldn't lie to him no more or could she, if it meant he didn't get hurt?

"Don't worry Ian knows what happened earlier and what we spoke of." Beckett stated breaking the silence. Hearing nothing he looked to Ian and nodded.

"Don't do anything stupid." She heard Ian whisper to her as he walked passed.

Hearing the door close, Charlie sat back down. She weren't hungry but she was thirsty. She stared at the glass in front of her, seeing the warm liquid of rum sitting out of place on the table. She wanted to scoff knowing Beckett would have done that, to get drunk to spill or make her feel weak.

"Have you ever killed anyone before?" She asked out loud, her eyes on the drink but glanced up to see him shake his head. "I remember my first one. Life. People always wonder if it's longer then they say, but seeing it seep out of someone, it makes you think." Charlie raised her gaze and grabbed the glass. "Trusting others I find is hard but easier than trusting myself. I've seen things. Heard things. Know the difference between truth and tales." She raised her glass to her lips, before drinking it she let a sigh escape knowing she was trying to be strong but the rum made her feel…she didn't know. Years she drank the stuff but to feel what exactly, to feel more pain from the past and the fights she got herself in, to feel lonely, to feel angry, to feel no joy at all? "I heard things about my parents but nothing will be the same to what I know. You killed my mother, you call her whatever but she is still my mother wherever she may be, along with my father, they're just faces to you but to me they are something else. Let's stop wasting time. You hate me, want me killed, but you need information and Ian will protect me and find no mercy in his heart to those who dare to harm me."

She stood up and poured herself another glass. She felt his eyes upon her. Judging her. Questioning her.

"I thought you were stopping?"

"Old habits die hard." Charlie stated. "You wish to get information on my father, but what will I get it from it all? Freedom I thought this was, but it isn't, buying your freedom to imprison another's isn't freedom. I don't want power nor work for you. Yes I would like my gang back but knowing it won't be the same doesn't have the same effect and I already asked them, to your luck they all declined, they rather work for you."

Charlie raised her glass and raised it to her lips. Before taking a sip she paused staring at him and tilted it a bit and then she drank it, tasting the warm liquid which she had befriend, who had been there ever since.

"You're lucky to have them." She stated. "Every single one of them." She turned around and walked away from the table, it was probably what Beckett wanted for her to talk, to get her feelings out and to know what makes her tick, what gets her going; all to break her. "I want to know something, do you remember them? Do you remember my parents? I know you weren't friends but the next door neighbour remembers their neighbours or the whore or the poor person on the street. When I was younger I used to be jealous of those who knew them, as they spent more time than I did with them. They were my fucking parents and I spent a short time with them both. How could you do that to a child? To take her parents away, to make her life a living hell, to become this?" Charlie asked while turning and face the now standing Beckett.

"It weren't my intention too. It was your father who I was more interested in not you or your mother. He betrayed me. Something that doesn't go too well in anyone's books Miss Jacobs." He replied, he faced the window, his hands behind his back. "You know that, though you've do it yourself. You've turned out like him, something we all feared. What I heard from Ian earlier, he tried his hardest to teach you not to become like your father."

"Why have you waited all this time to question me, when you knew Ian was looking after me ever since my mother died? You wasted years waiting…"

"Because Miss Jacobs, I knew you were going to be more potential older than younger. " He replied cutting her off. "The dagger won't get you out of this one."

Charlie stared at him confused, unsure how he knew about her dagger which was now in her hand. She had been quiet and unnoticeable, something the force taught her. She watched as he turned around with a smirk. Lowering her gaze she stared at the dagger. It hadn't seen blood for a long time and a Lord's blood is the third highest blood it could taste after the Kings of course. It was meant to be a threat, something she was meant to do earlier.

"Like I said, Ian will hurt those who bring harm to me…" She stopped throwing the dagger in the air and grabbed it again. "But I did learn from the great man how to defend myself. You haven't killed anyone before, I got a dagger, something small but dangerous. Yet you have a mind and probably thinking many ways on how to kill me all in the space of a minute. You're right. When in the force I did learn about people, on how they think, what makes them tick and what they hold close to them. All three things you know as well, as you use them in your dealings. We may be the same on the line of hurting people to get information, to get the truth or get people against the law to do the dirty work but the difference is I learnt from my mistakes."

Charlie quickly whirled around and punched the guard in the face as he stood close enough. She quickly stabbed him in the stomach and let him fall. She ducked as another guard tried punching her but she was too quick. She stood back up and winked before giving him a Glasgow kiss. She turned around rubbing her head but stopped, her eyes grew up big as in front of her a pistol was pointing in her face. She let her arms drop and stared with fear.

"Now we had a talk, a drink or two and a fight, it's time for my questions to be answered Miss Jacobs." Beckett stated staring at her behind the pistol. "You went and searched for your father when you were sixteen and didn't come back until you were eighteen, you were on the waters in the space of two years. In two years people do an awful lot, but I care not what you did. I want to know where your father is."

"I don't know where he is."

"Don't lie to me Miss Jacobs, you know where that takes you."

"I'm telling the bloody truth. If I did find him, do you really think I would go back to London? At that time it was only Ian, Lupin and me, the gang I put together until a month I came back. You think you know me but you don't. Yes I've been through hell but I'm still standing, I'm still talking, I'm still living, I bet not a lot of people you see can say that and stands up against you."

She bravely swung at him, making him drop the pistol. They both stared at each other for a few tensed seconds before they ran for the pistol. Charlie was the fastest but Beckett weren't going to give up so easily and pushed her away, making her fall. Letting out a groan of pain, Charlie pushed herself to a sitting position and saw he was near the weapon. In madness, Charlie threw her dagger and it hit the pistol with force, making it slide away from his hands. She smiled, thankfully. Getting up she ran towards the pistol and kicked him in the stomach as he grabbed her. "Not this time mate." She stated before racing to get the pistol. As she grabbed the pistol, she grabbed her dagger. She turned around and saw him still on the floor.

"Weird how we always seem to fight each other." She stated while standing at his side looking down at him. As he tried to stand, she put her foot on his chest making him fall. "You had your fun now Beckett, you hurt those people of innocent or not so innocent but what makes you damn special to do that, what makes you think you can just go and hurt them?" She asked while pointing her pistol at him. Slowly she opened it up and emptied it before throwing it away. "I may be the drunk of the town, a freak but I got a mind, a heart and friends but what do you have?"

She raised her foot to let him get up. She watched as he got up. Silence was what held in the room.

"You won't get away with this." Beckett stated angrily.

Charlie just rolled her eyes and grabbed him by his collar of his coat, pressing her dagger against his neck. "These are dangerous times Beckett. I thought you would learn from last time that you cannot see everything with just your eyes or else you be dead." She scoffed seeing fear in his eyes. "Not so brave now facing the other side of the sharp end. You know an awfully a lot about me from rumours and Ian. You think from all that you can overpower me."

"You do well for a lost bird. Passing time by drinking, losing yourself in the past. When in those times do you think of those you supposedly care for? How many times…"

Charlie made him stop by pressing the dagger harder into his neck. Anger filled her. She saw blood trickle down his neck, her dagger feeding on his skin. She noticed how white her fist had got, how the metal burned her skin.

"Charlie, what do you think you are doing?" She heard Ian ask.

"Killing the man who took my parents away." She replied while staring at Beckett with anger.

"I can't let you do that Charlie."

She stared at Beckett but then she stared at Ian confused.

"Like I said Miss Jacobs, Mercer is loyal but to me. Face it, you can't kill me, even if you force yourself to do the deed, you can't."

Charlie felt a heavy hand on pulling her away. She let go of Beckett and try to get Ian off her. She pushed him away in anger as he let go, she wanted to punch him in the face, want to kill them both!

"No hard feelings Miss Jacobs, but business is business." She heard Beckett state, making her stare at him and saw her dagger now in his hand.

"I'm sorry Charlie."

"All those years, the words you spoke to me, did you ever mean them?" She asked while whirling around to face Ian, anger controlling her. "Did you ever love my parents? Do you remember the night _he_ killed her? Is it burnt in your mind like it is in mine?" She started to shove him hard in the chest and pounded him, it seemed he let her do it feeling ashamed. "You're worse than him! I thought you were my family. You lied to me to all these years."

She stopped and walked away feeling tears burn her eyes as she tried her hardest to hold them in. She could feel her bottom lip shake but she bit it trying to hold it all in. That's what she was taught to do, keep it in but now they say it's ok to let it out. She was confused. She was angry. She was hurt. The going cycle. The one which started when her father left. No one told her the truth. She was the last one to know anything. Her friends kept things away from her. She was a mess. But the question she kept asking was: "Was she better with or without them?" She didn't know. With she felt different but inside she felt like a wreck. On her own she was a wreak, no one to stop those voices inside her head, no one to take the marks away from her and the pain which people and herself inflicted on her own body.

"It's not like that Charlie."

"No stop." Charlie stated angrily standing her ground. "I used to look up to you, I thought you were a hero no matter what the others said. I used to run to you for help, you saw what I had to go through every day, you heard what they kept on saying! I thought I was being selfish to think I was all on my own, maybe I saw something but I turned a blind eye upon it. Does any of those things matter to you? I thought you understood me. But I'm this nothing in your life. I'm this nothing in everyone's! There's nothing important about me, only information to_ him, _but what comes after that, what are my after? You say you taught me how not to be like my father but you taught me your ways, standing here I don't know what's the difference. He left me when I was young, I don't even fucking know him! I don't know what he looks like nor what he sounds like. You took me in, you brought me up, taught me things but standing here I question if it was a waste of time. This is what it all does to you. To go to hell, but you know what it takes a lot of courage to come back and face people." She stopped and let out a heavy breath. "I hope you and this twat have a happy life together." She whirled around and grabbed the rum bottle from the table before stating to both of them: "You should have killed me when you had the chance."

With that she stormed out, grabbed her weapons and ran out, ignoring Ian's pleads and Beckett's judgemental eyes. Storming out, heavy rain thrashed down and the sound of thunder woke the sky. It was truly a dark night for Charlie.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello my dear, I first I apologise because I said I would update my Danielle Turner story this holiday and as I'm going back to school on Monday I see myself not doing it as I got a lot of work to still, I was planning to do a lazy holiday but I only had 4 days off well two if you don't include Christmas Eve and Christmas day. I lead a boring life. So I'm very sorry about it. But thank you for staying in tune with this story, I hope you like this chapter. **

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Charlie was soaked through, her dark hair stuck to her as of her clothes but she cared not. She was full of anger and hurt to care of such thing. Words which were said, spilled and full of poison went around her mind, deepening, like an anchor it caught hold of something and dragged Charlie back into the darkness.

Years she tried to fight it all but when she thought she won, it all came back, tougher and heavier upon her shoulders. Darkness thicker. Silence greater. Voices louder. Light faded. Dreams turned into nightmares. Friends disappeared. She wanted to scream out. She wanted to show how she truly felt but she was scared to hurt. They say they were there for her no matter what but she doubted their words of comfort. She imagined them being scared of her if they knew the truth, wouldn't know what to say or do. She was alone. She was always alone. She made the gang to show she was someone but was she? Thinking about it she knew the answer. She was no one. She pretended to be this tough person but inside she was broken and small; nothing worth to talk to, nothing, worth setting eyes upon, a ghost in the concrete world.

Anger continued to build. The rain became heavier. Thunder grew louder. Lighting struck the ground. Everywhere felt the weather's anger. Why could the weather show its anger but Charlie couldn't without feeling judged? All her life she was looked down upon, treated third citizen. When she was younger she was confused why, when she saw the children who bullied her, she saw nothing special about them. Each day when the bullying started she looked in the mirror to see why they were bullying her. She saw she had a nose, two eyes, a mouth with teeth and hair, all what the children had, she didn't understand. Her parents were pirates, but they were good people to her, they may have broken the law many times but everyone has their views on life and how they should be treated; they just go about it differently. Months after her mother died, she followed a few children home but stayed a good distance behind them not wanting them to see her. She watched in the shadows as they their mothers greeted them with a smile and a warm kiss, young children running out of the house. Some wiped their forehead where their mother kissed them, but Charlie would like to think she wouldn't do that if her mother kissed her. Hugs she watched as well, warmth it gave to the sad children. Laughter filled the air when their fathers came home from another day of work. Charlie watched as they playfully played with their children and joked around.

Those were the things she missed out on. Love from her mother and jokes from her father. She dreamt of them in her sleep, she could feel their presence, their love and their warmth, making her dread the end, when she had to wake up and live in the real world again. She was an outsider. Always was. Always will be. Forever an outsider.

Charlie stormed through town, she couldn't hear Ian behind her or calling her, making her both angry and hurt, she didn't want to be around him no more but she hated to be alone. The cycle of confusion, of feelings. _They said stop dwelling on the past. Stop pretending. But they didn't say how! _Charlie thought angrily in her mind.

She stopped and felt anger rushing down to her hands. Years she had called to rum to help control herself but seeing everyone, speaking of the past, many repeats of the past it piled on top. She put the bottle down and lifted her face up, letting the rain land on her face. She took a heavy breath but still the anger laid inside waiting to be let out.

"They didn't tell me how." She whispered into the tensed air. Lowering her head she stared at her hands, seeing them tremble with anger. "How can I stop being what I grown into? How I stop it all? They don't hear the voices inside my head! They didn't feel the pain which they inflicted on me nor the pain I was drove to do." Tears rolled down her cheeks. As anger reached its boiling point, Charlie whirled around and drove her fist into the column. Then with the left. It sounded painful but she was too angry to feel anything else. Again and again she punched it, her knuckles opened letting blood run out and some painted to the stones of the column, some ran down Charlie's hands.

"I can't do this anymore!" She stated angrily as her punches lessened. Slowly she turned around and slid to the floor in tears, pain she now could feel from her knuckles. "I can't fucking do this no more." Tears rolled her cheeks, her body was still full of anger but now pain.

Every year she believed it was going to get better but each year went and she felt worse. She told herself it was going to get better with age. Doubt filled her. Each mark told her a story. Tattoos were symbols of something important in her life, which were in her life. Some stood for freedom. Some stood for friends and family. Some stood for eternal life. All things she considered important but sitting there she was alone again. If she had a choice of living or to die, some days she knew the answer she would pick, not the feel pain no more, feel at last peace but doubt filled her most days. She knew she needed to stop but how?

Charlie heard a door open but she couldn't make herself move nor care who finds her like that. She lifted the bottle to her lips and took a swig. Hearing movement she lowered the bottle and stared in front of her.

"Why are you sad Charlie?" She heard Max ask her.

She turned her head and saw him sitting next to her staring back with concern. She looked up and saw he was holding an umbrella, one which was big enough to cover them both. Lowering her gaze again she didn't want to tell Max the reason, she didn't want him to be hurt, to be concerned about her. It was her job to look after him not the other way around.

"Nothing to concern you kid." She stated plainly before turning her gaze to the street again.

"Then why are you here?"

"I don't know…"She quickly fell silent, tears in her throat. She wrapped her arms around her legs as she brought them up to her chin. She let her the tears roll down her cheeks, she had been strong too for so long. "I don't know why you ended up here kid, but I guess we are both the same kind. Just a life lesson, you can't trust anyone. You probably can't trust me."

She lifted the rum bottle to her lips but Max quickly took it away, he placed it beside him where Charlie couldn't reach it. "You don't need it Charlie. You have a good heart. We're all the same inside, you just need to see, listen and think. The heart is a special thing. Blood runs around inside us making sure we are still alive. When I feel low, I just put my hand on my heart and know that's my purpose." He raised his right hand and placed it where his heart is. He looked back up to Charlie. "I was given life, how I live is up to me but I know I have a purpose like the King, like you, like everyone. We all make a contribution in the world, changing it every day."

Charlie stared at him. She understood what he meant but was shocked on how he knew such a lot about the world and what the purpose is. She felt herself throw her arms around him, holding him tight. She felt his arms around her, which brought tears roll down again.

"I'm so sorry kid." She whispered. "I mean it."

"Aw look at this boys." They heard a rough voice state breaking the silence. Making them break the hug and stare at a small group of pirates! "Sorry to interpret such a touching scene but time is running out."

"So is your life's." Charlie stated while standing up, drawing out her weapons.

"Ah the lady wants to fight and a fight she will have."

Charlie stood her ground for a few seconds, until the group of pirates ran towards her. She knew what they were thinking, she had years of it that she was a female and she couldn't fight because of that fact alone. It made her feel happy when she won the fights to show she weren't any common woman but Charlie Jacobs. Charlie pushed one pirate away and ordered Max to run to warn everyone in the house- to get them out, before sticking her sword in the fallen pirate. Turning around to face the others she felt more than hunger, hunger for her blood and probably her flesh but she weren't having any of it. She played a little with them to make them think they had control but before they could finish her, she turned the tables. Before they knew it there was only one left. Charlie whirled around and pointed her sword in his face, a smirk upon her face.

"You really thought you could defeat me?" Charlie asked. "You men are the same. I could let you go back to your captain and warn him not to come back or he has me to answer too." She stepped forward. "Or I could just kill you. Decisions, decisions, decisions."

Before she could make an action, the door of the orphanage swung opened letting out gasps and held screams into the air. She glanced to see the whole house was a wake but they were staring past her. She turned to the left and her gaze landed on what they were seeing. More pirates. They rowing towards the island, many things on their mind. Kill. Steal. Cause chaos.

"Oh shit." Charlie said. She heard the pirate laugh but before he could do anything else she swung and ended his life. She quickly turned to the matter, ordering the adults to get the children to safety and warn everyone. Just as she finished she heard the bells going off, the warning bells.

Without warning Charlie ran from the building and ran to the tavern, not to drink but to see a certain someone. Running through she ignored the people and the shouts but they seemed to stop as they heard the warning bells. They all changed to serious and mind of actions. Pushing herself through the busy tavern, she finally found the person she wanted; Gibbs. He was lying on the bench asleep, a bottle in his hand. Charlie just rolled her eyes and shook him hard.

"Oi Gibbs!" She yelled over the noise. "Gibbs I need you!"

"Leave me be!" Was the only thing he said.

Having no time to waste she pulled the bottle from his hand and poured the whole a lot on his face and then smashed it against the table to make him jump, in which he did. He quickly stared at Charlie with anger and shock but she had no time to explain nor did she have to when he heard the bells. He grabbed his weapons and followed Charlie out.

* * *

Entering the EITC head quarts, they saw many men running around getting weapons and running out to defend the island. She didn't know why ran to the fort, but Charlie was there now and she hoped her friends were. She wanted to fight with them, she needed to explain, she needed to think but the pirates won't let her do that. If she were going to die, she wanted to be with them not alone. She had thought on what Max said, life is worth living for, she has a purpose but why does it seem so hard most days?

"Charlie what you doing here?" She heard Lupin ask.

"Pirates are here to attack…"

"Charlie get up here now!" She heard Ian order her cutting her off.

She looked up confused but saw Ian wasn't there no more. She shared her worry look and confusion with both of her friends before going up. Entering the office again she saw Ian was at the balcony watching pirates row towards the island or running around. Her eyes torn away and onto Beckett who was standing beside his desk, his eyes set on the map of the town, she noticed two men of the company standing at the desk waiting for orders. Seeing him, anger started to build up. Just 30 minutes ago he was showing his true colours, showing how much he feared being on the opposite side of the sharp end, showed how he was like everyone else when power was taken away from him. _Give a man a sword, he can hold power in his hands but take that away what does he have?_ Charlie thought.

"I want some of the men to go down onto the beach, the others go into town and I need some to go…"

"No that's predictable." Charlie stated before storming towards the desk. She couldn't help herself. She hated the Company but more for the man in charge, however the whole town was in danger, she couldn't face innocent people dying not on her watch, as along she was alive, those people would have a chance; she would see to it. "They'll know they be there. Not all pirates are stupid. You should know that by now Beckett. Someone has to protect the people. It's within their duty as well as yours to protect them as well as fight!" She turned to the two men and quickly added: "Get some of your men to get people to safety and the rest to join those already down there, have some go out to the town as the pirates will try to get whatever they can get their hands on, set their boats on fire, so they can't row back to the ship, also throw cannons back at them but make sure you have a good target."

Charlie stared at them unsure why they weren't moving. She quickly noticed they were staring at Beckett confused, unsure themselves if to follow her orders or his.

"Why should they…"

"It's the only way. If you don't want to lose many men then that way is better." She said cutting him off.

"She is right sir." She heard Ian say, which made her stare at him for a few seconds then back to Beckett.

"Oh fine. You heard what she said."

Quickly the two guards left the room to give their men their orders made by Charlie. Charlie herself stared at the map, she knew the town inside out, knew all the nooks and cranny's, the hideouts, where people of good go and people of not so good go, hopefully not to mingle for both of their sakes but here she was in the office of the man who killed her mother, wanted her father and wanted to kill her, not a good thing to be, was karma going to show itself or did she need to fight him along with the invaders?

"Never do that again." She heard him state in anger.

She lifted her head and glared at him. "What to save people's lives? Is that a crime now? You have to be kidding me. You were sending those men into a bloody battle. You got to think how your enemies thinks and plan a step before them."

She watched as he walked away from his desk. It seemed she had hurt his ego, men fight to make people believe they are strong and worthy to stay on top but what does he have? Only his brain, she crossed his line by ordering his men around- making a better plan then him. She didn't care, he deserved every bad feeling coming to him, she thought.

"You know that so well." He stated.

She was unsure if that meant to be sarcasm or an insult, either way it made her take a step forward, her hand on her pistol, a threatening manner but before she could do anything rational, Ian wrapped his arm around her waist, pinned her right arm behind her back and turned her around. He quickly walked her away, holding her arm still.

"Let me go." She said within a groan, as Ian's grip tightened.

He finally let her go as they reached the other side of the office. He turned her around and stared harshly at her, making her see he was being serious on what he was about to say. "There's no time to argue. You're here to defend this office."

"What? I won't. I need to help out there."

"I'm not going to let you risk your life for all those people."

"But it's my right. I want to."

"You're not within the law no more Charlie, you have to start seeing that. You can keep wearing that uniform but do you feel anything different when it's off or still the Charlie that left London all those years ago? The world isn't going to stop turning nor the time going to stand still for you, you have to move on, forget what happened in the past that is how you move on."

"I will when I kill that…"

"Charlie." Ian said warningly cutting her off, he pinned her against the wall. "Killing him won't make it go away, it will make no difference on your past but the past will be your future. Your friends will be your enemies, you be all alone, you'll have blood on your hands and I know you don't want any of that. I know you hate him, but please don't kill him, he has every right to be alive like yourself. Ok you don't see eye to eye in most things but you both have great minds and can change the world. I want you here to defend the office, I don't want to lose you again."

Charlie stared at Ian his words hitting her. She knew he was right about the whole killing Beckett thing and she knew she didn't want her past to repeat and to be all alone. She had suffered enough, if people saw her scars, heard the voices of the bullies and of the voices maybe they would know she was too tired of all the pain, to know she wanted to live freely, to be at peace and to feel human once more.

Letting out a sigh she nodded, giving in. "Fine but I'm not promising anything."

Finally Ian let her go and turned to stare at his boss, who was listening to the whole thing. No one said anything but they all felt the tension in the room. Silence was high until a huge explosion came from the town, making them all stare at the windows, seeing smoke rise high from the ground.

Charlie could feel hand itch towards her sword, her blood rushing around her body, her mind on the battle, eyes torn between the door and the window. She wanted to be out there to fight, maybe to fight among her friends for maybe the last time.

However hearing movement in the office she watched in confusion as Ian walked towards the door. She started to follow but stopped as he turned around to stare at her.

"I be back in ten…thirty the latest." He said firmly. "I promise you I be back. This is the only way."

Before Charlie could say anything Ian walked out closing the door behind him, leaving Charlie alone with Beckett. For a few seconds Charlie just stared at the door with disbelief and anger. She wanted to walk out, to join the men in battle- to feel useful but she knew she couldn't go against Ian's words again, remembering it got her in shackles and harsh words spilled.

Feeling Beckett's eyes upon her she turned around and said: "I can't believe I have to defend your office. Why can't you do it yourself? You send people to their death so easily but you can't do it yourself, it's like you're cheating life, you make other people do your dirty job…ah I know why, so you have a clear name and be promoted, to have the 'good life'." She walked away from the door, her hand on her sword. "You're the one who judges me but you're the one who breaks the law yourself, you're a hypocrite."

It seemed he ignored her comment and stared at the map, making her roll her eyes.

"Why do you keep staring at that map? The pirates won't go through the whole island, they only come to steal and probably murder." Charlie said but to hear no answer. She let out a sigh and added: "Fine have it your way. I just sit near the door while you cower in here."

Minutes dragged long enough for Charlie as she sat on a chair near the door, a pistol in her hand. She checked her bullets many times annoying Beckett but she had nothing else to do.

"Can you do something else then open your pistol every five minutes?" He asked.

"Well I need to know if I have enough to kill a lot of men." She replied angrily. "I was ordered to defend the office not do anything else."

"When did that ever stop you?"

"Why don't you just shut up for once in your life? You think you're always right but you're not. You anything but right. Ok you can change the world but for good or bad? Not everyone likes your opinion nor how you see things but when they voice it you kill them. Are you really planning to kill a lot of people because they stand on the other side of the line, those being pirates, out casts, out laws and me? That's a lot of blood. A lot for one person. One so small with a big ego and a stupid wig, who thinks business is far more important than people. You like business because it's a thing which you can control…well most of it but people you can't control, you can order them about yet they have their own brain."

Before Beckett could answer there was a knock on the door. Charlie glared at Beckett before standing up to open the door a little bit, she knew the pirates weren't going to knock the door, if it was them, then they were stupid but had great manners. Putting her foot to the door, letting it rest on the foot so she could hold it against the person if they decide to push themselves through. However as her eyes met Max's she opened the door fully and pulled him in before closing the door again.

"What the hell you doing here?" She asked while kneeling down and put the pistol down so she could check if the boy was hurt. Seeing no injuries she stared back into his eyes. "You could have been hurt or even worse killed! Does Mrs Stone know you're here?"

"Well I'm still alive, I came to see you Charlie and no Mrs Stone doesn't know I'm here." Max finally replied after getting his breath back.

"Who's the boy?" She heard Beckett ask.

"My friend."

"I don't think this is the best time…"

"Never is the best time. Life is time. I promised him I will protect him, he's staying, if not then I'm not." Charlie said cutting him off. Seeing he weren't in the mood to argue she stood up and placed Max on the chair. "Why you here to see me? How did you know I was here?"

"I followed you and hid until it was safe. I didn't want to stay with the others, I want to show them how brave I am and strong I can be, then maybe they stop bullying me."

Letting out a sigh, Charlie kneeled before him, taking his hands. "Kid, I used to think the same way as you do now. I thought using a sword would make them all go away but I was wrong, it made it worse. I wish I could have put my head down and ignored what they said but I just lost my mother and the things they were saying…none of it should be repeated, not to anyone." She stopped as she knew Beckett was listening, she glanced towards him but looked back at Max. "I guess you're much braver then me. They told me things which no one should ever tell anyone to do. People used to say I provoked them…to be honest maybe I did a few times but they were the ones who gathered the crowds and threw the punches. I learnt I was alone, they said it gets better with time but still alive now I see not. All I'm trying to say is…you don't need to show them how brave or how strong you are by fighting in a battle which can get you killed, you need to be true to yourself, you told me we all have a purpose to live, but you got live with yourself first because out of everyone in the world, you can't leave yourself." She lifted her hand and cubed his chin. "You're one special kid Max, never change for anyone. You have a heart of gold and that is rare in this day of age. When Ian gets back, I take you back to Mrs Stone or she be worried."

She stood back up and just in time as the door banged open. She felt Max's arms wrap around her waist telling her he was scared. She quickly drew out her sword as two men stepped in, one being Ian and the other was a pirate. Charlie moved herself after ordering Max to run further into the office.

"Let him go." She stated angrily.

The pirate laughed before pushing Ian into the room. He drew out his sword and stared at her before swinging his sword. The office was full of the noise of metal clashing against each other and hearts pounding. One point Charlie ducked as the pirate aimed for her head but she was too quick and jabbed at his leg, making her have time to stand and move further. They moved around the office, many times the pirate had the upper hand, he had her pinned up to the wall but Ian helped out but got himself punched in the face. However as it seemed to be Charlie getting the upper hand, as she kicked the pirate's sword out of his hand. She pointed her sword in his face but it was all too good to be true as he quickly drew his pistol and cocked it; pointing it in her face.

She stared at the gun with fear. She heard herself breathing hard and felt her heart pounding. She reached for her pistol but noticed the pirate's eyes followed her hand, making him step further in a threatening manner. However hearing another gun being cocked made Charlie look behind the pirate to see Ian standing behind him training his gun at the pirate. Anger in his eyes, she took the time to look around the office to find Max and saw him standing near the door away from danger for now.

"Going to kill your own best friend, Ian?" The pirate asked, bringing Charlie's attention back to the pirate.

"You're the one who is pointing a pistol to your own daughter."


End file.
